Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tomorrow is THE day

I am tired, overwhelmed, excited, happy, somewhat crazy, reflective, absent minded at times, and a little bit sad. A little sad only because I know life will never be the same again.

People are saying things to me and I'm not really hearing them.

Tomorrow morning my youngest son is getting married.

I've been telling him what to do today. Tomorrow he will belong to Karen. I could not have chosen anyone sweeter, kinder, smarter, more righteous, and just perfect for him than her.

I will have pictures and highlights as soon as I recover enough to post.

This one was taken last night.
Look who came with them from Provo, of course.
And wait, that's not all.
Den's daughters, Kris and Kim and
our grandgirls, Katie, Jessica and Emily are here!
Pictures to come of Karen's mom Stacy, and her sister Marilyn. They have been with us since Tuesday and already feel like family. Officially they will be family tomorrow!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another Dr. Laura call

While I have said I don't agree with everything Dr. Laura says and does, I do find some of her calls entertaining such as this one on a previous post.

And I do like much of her advice...such as this call:

Sunday, April 26, 2009

He said he was in 7th Heaven

They wanted to be here for Tyler and Karen's wedding this Friday.

I'm talking about my first husband's parents, my sons' grandparents. They came all the way from Arizona.

But sadly, he is too sick to stay. So today was all we had with them.

Austin introducing Téa to her Great Grandpa
Great Grandma meeting the twins

Great Grandpa and Cami
Grandma Honey with Macie,
who both missed most of church today.
Great Grandpa, Cami, and Elora

My sons' Grandpa has lung cancer. A very bitter sweet day.
What joy he had getting to see his family.
He got to meet and hold the twins for the first time.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

They love Uncle McKay

Friday, April 24, 2009

Encore of Elora and Hailey

My granddaughter Elora, and her 2nd cousin Hailey are the best of friends. They really do enjoy being together, which is not often enough. So we have to savor the fun times. Here is another one of their dances from last Friday. Notice the rhythm Hailey has right at the beginning, right after they clap the first time. They both really get into it.

Please come back soon Hailey.

Her mom would have loved this.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

McKay, the graduate!

My 3rd son, McKay, with his sistas, Kim and Kris

Oh what I would have given to be there today!

I tried to focus on how grateful I am that McKay got to attend BYU. How grateful I am that he is now a graduate. Still, I have to admit how frustrated and sad I felt that I did not get to be there with him today.

Thankfully, I got to watch it on TV. Not the same by any means, but still, I got to feel the spirit of BYU. The spirit of joy in his graduation. The spirit of joy in being his mother.

Thank you Den, Kim, Kris, Tyler, Karen, Jacob, Robbie, and Rachel for being there today!! Thank you Kim and Kris for all these priceless-to-me pictures!!

I have often asked both McKay and Tyler what they like most about attending BYU. They have told me they love the dress code, the honor code, and prayers in the classrooms.

Some interesting facts about this particular BYU graduating class:

More than 6200 received degrees today.
187 received doctorate degrees.
690 received master degrees.
The rest received bachelor degrees.

This graduating class is 53% male, and 47% female.
Average age of these graduates: 25 years old (McKay's age!)
Today's youngest grad: 17 years old (how can that be??)
Today's oldest grad: 75

54% of the graduates are married

Average grade point average of today's graduates: B+

The college awarding the highest number of graduates:
Family Home & Social Sciences (24% of graduates)
Marriott School of Management (13% of graduates)
College of Humanities (11% of graduates)

The graduates today represent 49 states, and 74 foreign countries.
32% of graduates are from Utah.
13% from California
5% from Washington

Babies growing faster than strawberries

It was after 8pm by the time I got over to see the babies last night. Logan was working outside in his new garden by lantern light! Amy says he finds a strawberry about every 3 days and brings it in the house for her to eat. Isn't that the sweetest?

These little cutie pies are even sweeter.
He still looks like our little math professor.
Can you believe how they are growing? 10 days old.Her onesie says, "I will always be Daddy's little girl."
When I came back into the family room just before I left, look what I saw. Téa and Austin both sound asleep. These babies are not going to grow up with a lack of love, that's for sure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I didn't forget Logan

Some have asked why I did not do a post on my son Logan's 30th birthday last Friday. I'm pretty much done with birthdays. I don't mean I am done celebrating...of course not, never.

But I am done with them on this blog.

I've been doing this blog for over a year now. I don't want to risk repeating myself.

Having said all that, I also have to say that Logan's birthday last Friday was a time of reflection for me. As I watched him getting the babies out of their car and into the restaurant, I couldn't help but think back to the past 4 years and all they went through to get these babies here.

If we could just see the plan while we are going through all the pain, how much easier this life would be. Apparently this life is not meant to be easy.

Within 3 months of their marriage 4 years ago, Amy had a surgery with a very painful recovery, thinking this would help her get pregnant. It was successful at first, and we were so excited to get the call from Logan announcing they were pregnant...only to be followed a few weeks later with the disappointing news that she had a miscarriage.

Scar tissue quickly formed and we soon learned both of her tubes were blocked. No babies for them. It's not like they were a candidate to adopt with the 5 beautiful children Amy brought to this marriage.

Their only option was In-vitro. But that is so so expensive...and very difficult both emotionally and physically. Logan and Amy were determined so they signed up.

All those hormones, shots, Dr appts, etc and finally the big day came to retrieve the eggs. All was looking so promising. Then back to the hospital a few days later to have the embryos implanted. Then the waiting to see if it worked. 14 days later it all went away with one phone call, "It's negative."

The hope gone. The money gone.
Do they try again? Can they try again?

Okay, so they save up a bunch more money...thousands more $$$. Go back to the dr, more shots, more pills, the hospital to retrieve the eggs, and the hospital again for the implantation. This time Amy decided she wants to try complete bedrest after the implanting of the embryos. She comes straight to our house from the hospital this time.

Stays in bed for 7 days.

Hard not to focus completely on those embryos. Do they stay implanted this time? Is she pregnant? We cry together. We stay up late into the night and talk and plan and then try not to get our hopes up...and then talk and cry some more.

14 days later she goes back for the blood test. Amy is the first one at the lab at 6am. Goes home and waits. No one calls her. Hours later she finds they have lost her results. She is so nervous, so anxious she has a friend take her out to lunch. While there, her cell phone rings. "I'm sorry, it's negative."

Amy calls me. Has to tell me the news. I could barely hear her soft little tearful voice saying to me, "It didn't work."

We are all crushed. How can they keep doing this?? How can they afford this again?

Amy says she is done. She can't do this anymore. It's too hard. It's so expensive. So emotionally draining.

I knew they were not done.

A year later they decide they will do whatever it takes. They will not only go for another In-vitro, but they will have FIVE of them back to back. FIVE months of this was their plan. They felt the odds would be in their favor this way.

My prayers began changing. I would plead, "Please let them get pregnant on the first month of this." So far they had not gone into debt over this. They would just save and save and work really hard until they could pay cash. But FIVE times in a row this time?!

Back to the doctor. Back to all the hormones. This time Amy does not want to talk about it much. She just wants to get it done and then try not to focus on it. Trying to protect herself from more disappointment. You can read about that day of the egg retrieval here.

The embryo implantation and video here.

Then we finally get some very GOOD NEWS here.
What a most exciting and unforgettable day that was!

The day we found out there were twins, here.

The day we thought she was losing them here.

But we didn't lose them. They were born just 5 days before their father turned 30. I think Logan would say this was his happiest birthday ever. I am so happy for them. I am so happy for us.

Big brother and sister, Chandler and Kylie, the day the babies were born.
Just 9 days ago.

Austin with Jonas

Macie and Laurynn
Chandler and Kylie

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Cami's first talk at church

We got special permission from the Primary president
to record Cami's first talk.

Friday, April 17, 2009

This one is for Jason

Elora and I got to spend the afternoon with Hailey since her Dad is in Korea for 2 weeks. It was so fun watching them play together! Their imaginations just kept going and they came up with one idea after another.

I especially loved their dancing.

After all that dancing Hailey asked me if I had any bags of frozen peas or carrots. She said she was hot and wanted me to put them on her forehead so she could cool off. Elora thought she heard that right and said, "No Hailey, you don't want to eat peas and carrots. That will really make you hot."

It's like they were in their own little world. You'll notice they don't even hear me towards the end when I'm talking to them.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Too embarrassed to tell anyone this...

but guess where I went tonight? To see Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus 8. She was at Borders bookstore in Riverpark.

Sure enough very long lines. Den guesses atleast 500 people all curved double around the building outside. I wanted to see her, but not that bad.

So, instead, we went inside and asked where she would be sitting once she arrived. They pointed us towards the cafe in the back. Very few people were actually inside the store, so Den and I found a comfortable little table and read books for about 15 minutes while waiting.

Sure enough she made her entrance where we could easily see her. I took a few shots from my camera and then I was ready to go home. I looked at her new book, "Eight Little Faces" but there was not much to it, so I didn't even purchase it.

If you click this perhaps you can see how her hair goes flat right in the back where it usually sticks out. She had probably just woke up from a nap.
I felt almost guilty doing this tonight. I have so many things to do...I am tired and busy...but sometimes I just need to do something a little crazy, and this was it for me.

And my dear husband, well, he's such a good sport!

Oh, and many of those poor people are probably still waiting in that line. Too bad they didn't just go in the front door like we did.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I've been waiting 4 weeks to show this...

Two years ago today, my Mom died.

But I found something 4 weeks ago, that I want to show you now.

Right after she died, I put most of her things aside. I would go through them little by little. I think I was trying to savor the experience and make it last.

Four weeks ago I finally was going through the last box, and at the very bottom of this I found a manila folder. Inside were about 10 sheets of family photos that she had photocopied. When I got to the last one there was this poem. My mom was not into poetry, at all. She believed if you had something to say, just say it, don't put it in a poem.

But then I found this. She so obviously put this with her photos. It was typed out on a regular size piece of paper. Or maybe it was photocopied....I can't tell for sure.

I wonder if she put it there purposely for us to find after she was gone. What do you think?
I especially like the line, "...I am loving you just as I always have..."
I'm sure of it.

Click here to see an excerpt from a video showing all her children.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Like father like son?

Daddy Logan and Jonas Logan
Is it just me, or is there a little resemblance going on here?
Another shot of Jonas below
Little sister Tea and Grandpa Dennis
Do we look like we know what we're doing?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Hospital Pictures

1 day old

The above were taken by the hospital photographer. Just as school pictures have changed, apparently so have hospital pictures.

Jonas has the exact same hair line as his Daddy. To me, he looks like a little math professor. He is hysterically cute. I can't get enough of him. Tea is beautiful.

Just when I think, okay, I've shown enough...there is one more I want to share.
(Truthfully this will go on for years.)
I filmed this yesterday, about 14 hours after the births.
(Oh, and everyone came home today.)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Highlights of today

Sorry about all the posts, but I seriously can't help it.

Here are some of the highlights of today:

*I will never forget being there for the births today. I will never forget watching my son deliver his son. The doctor gave him a crash course and then he very confidently took over.

*Austin did not complain about sharing the wall couch with me. Neither of us slept but we needed to close our eyes once in a while. I'm not use to staying up all night.

*Now I really do get where Amy gets her sweetness and unselfishness...from her Mom! Suddenly when Amy went from a 6 to a 10 and was ready to push, we were handed ONE set of paper scrubs. Amy had to deliver in the OR being there were twins and the risk of a sudden c-section. So they are flying her out the door on a gurney and Karen tells me to put the scrubs on. I told her that she needed to put them on. She INSISTED I wear them saying, "I don't want you to miss out on this!" But how about HER??? SHE is Amy's MOM!! She helped me get the clothes on, tying my mask and and then helping get my shoes covered and telling me to hurry up and get out the door. So as I am walking out finally a nurse came and handed Karen her own scrubs, so I stopped and of course helped her. I will never ever forget though, that Karen was willing to sacrifice herself being there, so I could!

The doctor offered to take this picture of Karen and I.

*AND, Karen insisted on following me home at 3:30am since I was alone, so she did!

*After the birth and we were all in recovery together, I noticed Logan sitting down holding one of the babies and saying things like, "I am your Daddy..." I can't remember what else he said but just one sweet little thing after another. He is so so proud and happy.

*Amy was such a trooper. She wanted to avoid a c-section and she did. She didn't even have an episiotomy. Not that there is anything wrong with having a c-section, and while I realize some women prefer them, Amy didn't want one so I'm happy she got it the way she wanted. She was so calm and assured throughout it all. When Tea, the second baby came out there was clapping in the delivery room.

*Before the babies were born the nurse came in and put 2 bracelets on both Amy and Logan. I kiddingly said I wanted a bracelet too. So Tracie, the nurse made me one up that said, "Grandma Honey" on it!! BTW, Tracie was sent from heaven. What a amazing, and devoted nurse!! She was behind talking the Dr into allowing Logan to deliver Jonas. She was behind letting Austin stay with us throughout Amy's labor. Also, BTW again, if Logan had been a girl his name was going to be Tracie. I had different girls names chosen for each of my 4 sons, but Tracie is the only one I still like!

*When Logan realized Amy was in labor, before they left their house for the hospital, Logan put both baby car seats in the car. He could have sent someone to get them later, but no, he wanted those car seats and he told me later, "Well I am not going home again until the babies come with us."

*After I got home this morning, I called Amy to find out how to spell Layelle...their daughter's middle name. She had to ask Logan and in the background I heard him spell it out. She really did let him name the babies. Brave woman she is.

*I missed Easter dinner with Elora and Campbell but Erin just sent me these pictures.
Thank you Erin!!!Brock and Cam Cam
Brock has very distinct ridges on his ears. My only son who does. Both of his girls have the same ridges. Well guess what? So does baby Jonas!