Grandma Honey: 2019

They're back!

Even though I never gave birth to daughters, I hit the jackpot with step daughters, daughters in law, and granddaughters.

It starts early, too....Juliet is only 3 1/2 here.

The grands come back from Idaho... from Jill Shelley on Vimeo.

Christmas Eves from the past...

Den and I had to miss the annual Rozier Christmas Eve tonight....

Instead, here are a few of my journal entries, all written on past Christmas Eve's....

2018

This morning about 7:15 Robin called to tell me Susan had passed away. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. She had that awful head trauma including several staples in her head just 3 days ago. I think she probably died of a brain bleed. I’m thankful we got to spend all that extra time with her on Friday night. We will miss her terribly. She was so pure, sweet, kind and SO GOOD to my Dad. She loved to laugh! It was fun to go see them because she was excited to ask about our lives.

As they were bringing her body out this morning, Dad grabbed her hand and sang the song, “Have I told you lately that I loved you?” Heidi said he was singing the song to her last night when she walked in on them....he was in his room and she was in hers, and here he was in bed singing to her.

Christmas Eve at Carly and Enoch Sears in Visalia. Sad Dad sitting there having just lost his sweetheart and best friend and wife earlier this morning. Heidi fed him.

2017

Poor Richie got sick at the Rozier Christmas party and had to leave early with Tyler. But Leo, full swing ahead. He took his part as a shepherd SO seriously. There was a really sweet spirit in the house there at the Shepards. A spirit of love and helping. Heidi spoon feeding Dad… Dave and Scott helping Dad out the door, the girl teenage cousins all on the couch side by side with happy smiles on their faces, Susan wanting and asking for cranberries for her ham.

2016

After our Christmas Eve gathering at John and Suzanne’s, and before he lead us in prayer, John looked at Dad and said, “Because of the decisions you and Mom made 61 years ago, look what has happened..” and he pointed his hand around the room. In his prayer John said thanks for the good choices of his parents.

2015

Glorious evening. My siblings and I all lined up against the back drop of John and Suzanne’s fireplace. Someone said, “I feel like someone is missing.” John said back, “It’s Chris. But we aren’t going to think about that right now.” I turned to look at my Dad and he was sobbing. Someone said to him, “Feeling bad Dad that you didn’t stop at 2?”

2014

The ride home from John and Suzanne's just now was NOT fun. I feel so uncomfortable in Dad's rickety old van. We feel every little bump of the road. I kept telling myself the ONLY reason I put up with it is for my Dad, because it means so much to him to be able to be with family.

1979 (from Mom's journal)

Busy day--did the route early. Then bought groceries. Cooked a turkey and made ice cream dessert. Had the whole family over for dinner. All 8 kids. Wendy and Bill, Grandma, Brock, Logan, Little Robin, Natalie and Chip. Had a nice family nite after. The kind of a Christmas Eve you dream about. Just about perfect.

Rudolph Cookies

Wouldn't you just love to make these

Rudolph cupcakes this week?

Just press HERE to unfreeze Elora

from TEN YEARS AGO...and she will show you how.

One of her journal entries...

While working yesterday on Mom's journals I came across this entry from March 25, 1984:

"I saw Sharon Richey at the store on Tuesday and she asked what I was up to, and I said, "Oh not much."

But I thought: My Mom is dying at our home, the boys are sick, I have to clean the carpet for the fireside, Richard and Wendy are moving and need help, Jill has a new baby and the flu, Jeff and Peggy opened their new jewelry store this week, Peggy is pregnant and I have a book review coming up in 3 weeks. Also the Relief Society does require a bit of my time. (she was the president). But I'll get thru it. No real problems and for that I am grateful. Chris wants me to stop typing so he can sleep."

Yep, that's our Mom. She absorbed everything her kids were going through at any given time. Always there for us all.

Christmas Eve 2009

Rozier Christmas Eve, 10 years ago.

This video was taken quickly and it looks that way. Okay, it's not the best....but there's a few cherished snippets worth seeing.

I remember going around the room that evening, looking for anyone who was not afraid of my camera....

Rozier Christmas Eve 2009 from Jill Shelley on Vimeo.

Book Club List for 2020

Below is our schedule for what I call, Kristi's bookclub,

since it's usually hosted by her.

(The other 2 clubs I belong to, we decide month by month.)

Looks like we have some good ones to look forward to....

(and just a little FYI... April, July, Sept, Oct, and next Jan of 2012 were my suggestions.)

Book Club

Book List 2020

January 9^th

BOOK: 7 Miracles That Saved America

AUTHOR: Chris Stewart and Ted Stewart

February 6^th

BOOK: The Moment of Lift

AUTHOR: Melinda Gates

March 5^th

BOOK: Insights From a Prophet’s Life – Russell M. Nelson

AUTHOR: Sheri Dew

April 2^nd

BOOK: Small Fry A Memoir

AUTHOR: Lisa Brennan-Jobs

May 7^th

BOOK: Educated A Memoir

AUTHOR: Tara Westover

June 4^th

BOOK: It’s Just My Nature! A Guide to Knowing and Living Your True Nature

AUTHOR: Carol Tuttle

July 2^nd

BOOK: Hannah Coulter

AUTHOR: Wendell Berry

August 6^th

BOOK: Finding Chika

AUTHOR: Mitch Albom

September 3^rd

BOOK: From This Moment On

AUTHOR: Shania Twain

October 1^st

BOOK: I Will Always Write Back: How One Letter Changed Two Live

AUTHORS: Caitlin Alifirenka & Martin Ganda with Liz Welch

November 5^th

BOOK: The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Roger

AUTHOR: Maxwell King

December 10^th

BOOK: The Power of Kindness: Why Empathy is Essential In Everyday Life

AUTHOR: Dr. Brian Goldman

January 7, 2021

BOOK: The Dearly Beloved: A Novel

AUTHOR: Cara Wall

4 questions you should ask your doctor

On one of my favorite podcasts, Something You Should Know, a neurosurgeon explained 4 questions you should ask your doctor before agreeing to surgery, or testing or even taking some medications.

From there I found his TED talk.

I like his honesty.

By the way, here are simple instructions should you want to subscribe to any free podcasts:

Find the Podcasts icon on your phone's home screen
Tap to open
Tap "search"
Type name of podcast you are looking for (or type in subject you are interested in)
Tap on the desired logo
Tap "subscribe"
Tap to listen

I really did try!

Den is so hard to buy for because he won't tell me what he wants!

But last week I actually heard him say he sure wished he had some wireless ear buds. I thought... perfect!

So Friday night we go to Costco to buy some fruit and pick up a few gifts for the grandkids. While he parks the car. I go inside and there just happens to be this lady promoting wireless ear buds...I tell her, “My husband wants these for Christmas. But I don’t want him to see them so I can’t put them in my cart. He’s parking the car now.”

She says to me, “I’ll you what... after you get all finished shopping have your husband go to the car and tell him, “Sorry I forgot something. This will be real quick.” Then come back in and purchase them.” Okay, I thought, that’s a plan.

Just as I’m walking away from her I see Den enter the front door of Costco and he goes right to the ear bud display like a child goes to candy. The ear bud lady looks at me from afar as if to say, is this your husband? I laugh and point to Den as if to say, you got that right! I then raise my voice so Den can hear me and say to him, “Come on, we’ve got to get shopping!”

So we go all over the store finding those few things we needed when suddenly Den says he feels sick and needs to find a bathroom. Off he goes. I continue the shopping. He calls several minutes later and says he’s not doing well. Of course I feel sorry for him but I’m thinking, hey take advantage of this, maybe I can sneak those ear buds in after all. But the front of the store where they are is quite a distance and I don’t know when Den will appear again. So I decide to go to checkout.

As the guy is scanning my items I tell the helper girl I sure wish I could buy some ear buds for my husband that I saw in a display upfront...thinking she might offer to get someone to go pick up a pair for me.

Instead she says they have some right there. Really? Great I’ll take a pair! They ring them up, and then hand me an ear bud “card” and tell me I need to go to customer pick up to get them. Oh man, I tell her, “But my husband will appear any minute! I can’t do that.” She says, “hurry over there...hardly any waiting right now, you can do it!”

Den calls again and he’s looking for me. I tell him, “I know you aren’t feeling well. Just go out to the car and I’ll pay for everything.“ No he doesn’t want to do that. I nearly beg. No he wants to be with me. Where is he exactly...I don’t know, so I don’t know how much time I’ll have before I get to customer pickup. I hurry over there....a girl standing there, for some reason offers to let me go before her. Maybe I looked desperate. I thank her! Hey, I think this is going to work. I look around. Can’t see Den anywhere. Good!

Then it’s my turn in line and I give my receipt to the man and he hands me the ear buds. I feel like I’m doing something illegal as I push them down into my purse and then put my wallet on top of the ear buds making sure Den won’t be able to see them. Feeling very relieved. I did it! Then suddenly I see him coming towards me. What perfect timing. I pulled this surprise off after all!

We walk to the exit door together. The man there with black curly hair asks to see our receipt as they always do before letting anyone out. He looks it over, and then looks down at our cart. “Ear buds? Where are the ear buds?” he asks while looking down at the receipt again to verify them.

I move a little back so Den can’t see my face and I look at the curly haired man and point to Den while making the SHH sign with my finger against my lips. He looks right at me! But does this help? NO! The curly man continues, “I need to see the ear buds.” Den suddenly gets an uncomfortable smile on his face.

The curly man blew my secret. I say to him, “This was suppose to be his Christmas present!” Then I look at Den and say, “Sorry honey!” The curly man throws his arms up in the air and says, “I had to ask!”

“Yeah I know,” I said. I felt I should also say Merry Christmas to the curly man but I didn’t feel like it. Because I was a little mad. By the time we walk out to the car I’m over my anger and I wish I had!

Don’t be like me. Say Merry Christmas this month as many times as opportunity comes. I love doing this! (usually) It’s interesting how many will say, “Thank you” or “same to you” or Happy Holidays” or even mumbled something.

Then there’s that rare one here and there who will actually smile and say Merry Christmas back.

Who would have thought 20 years or so ago this would even be an issue! Some will say we need to put Christ back into Christmas. He’s never left ours, and he’s probably not left yours either.

Merry Christmas!

A special blessing this week

While we were happily eating our Thanksgiving dinner yesterday...

...I read McKay's post on Instagram to everyone, as he had written about a very unforgettable blessing this past week.

Since not everyone gets Instagram, or looks at it, I wanted to also include McKay's post here.

"autism_understanding After a difficult weekend with
Grant, Sunday night concluded with one of the sweetest
experiences I have had with him in a long time.

As I was putting him to bed we watched one of the
Book of Mormon videos on YouTube and then I asked
him if he wanted to say a prayer. He began his prayer
with the same few lines he has said since he was 2
years old.

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for Elsa, thank you
for Mommy, thank you for Grant." (I don't know why
he says thank you for Elsa. He doesn't even like
Frozen. It's just a routine thing.)

I then interrupted him with a prompt to try and derail
him from his routine prayer with the words, "Please
help..."

Grant then continued my sentence slowly and
deliberately and said the following, "...me to
remember potty. Please help me to be kind. Please
help my medicine. Please help me to learn to spell. In
the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

If you know Grant then all of these words and
complete sentences should come as a huge surprise.
They were unscripted. These were his thoughts and
were not part of any rehearsed routine. He wasn't
parroting or saying what I wanted him to say. It was
one of those rare moments of clarity for him. All I
could do was hug him tightly and tell him how proud I
was of him."

People doing good in the world

One day last week Den and I went to The Habit for dinner.

He ordered....uh, I don't know what he ordered.

But I got the southwest chicken salad which I pretty much love.

(If you order this salad there don't expect it to look like mine.

I brought some of those toppings from home.)

But that's not what this post is about.

I noticed 3 people of various ages,

sitting in the booth near us.

They were all wearing yellow shirts that read across the front,

"Good News Club."

And they smiled alot.

So I walked over and said,

"You all look like you must be doing good things in the world."

They explained they are volunteers that teach about the Bible as an

after school program in an elementary school. And that this

program has been around since 1937.

I was thinking this and then I said,

"Really? I didn't know that was legal."

They assured me they have to get written permission from the

parents before the kids can join the club. Then one of them said,

"Many children don't go to church anymore.

And many don't even know who Jesus Christ is."

I said I was in awe by them and I applaud their efforts.

I told them, "Can you imagine children who don't know about

baby Jesus born in a stable? That is just so sad to me. I am so

happy you are teaching them."

They all nodded with the sweetest smiles on their faces.

I believe people doing good, any and all good,

have the light of Christ with them.

Tonight as Den and I watched this new 17 minute video about Christ's birth,

I thought of those "Good News Club" people.

I wish I had their email address so I could send this video to them.

They would love it.

My favorite part is the very end.

The best day to go to Costco

Den and I discovered a secret about Costco several years ago,
that either no one knows about...or no one cares.

If you want to have the whole store practically to yourself,
go on Black Friday in the evening.

We usually go about 7pm, the day after Thanksgiving.

It's just so pleasant strolling through the empty aisles.

I took these pictures last Black Friday, just for you.
You're welcome.

PS I have no idea what's it like there on Black Friday afternoons.

The solution could be worse than the problem...

A speaker at church last Sunday mentioned how here in California, ever since January 2018, when we had to start bringing our own bags to the grocery store, shop lifting has sky rocketed.

People bring their own bags, back packs, whatever, making it SO easy slip stuff in there.

The speaker made the point that the solution is turning out to be worse than the problem.

He compared this to raising children. Sometimes our solution is to make life so easy for them that they grow up not knowing how to handle adversity. They end of having more problems in the long run, more pain and heart ache.

So he gave these tips:

* This generation is use to instant results. Teach them delayed gratification.
* Teach that it's hard to wait and be patient for good things to come.
* If we make their lives too cushy now, later when life doesn't go well, they won't know how to cope and think they have failed.
* Losing proceeds winning.
* Praise efforts, not just results
* "Prepare the kid for the road, not the road for the kid."
* Our lives are filled with adversity. Resilience comes through patience.
* "Smooth seas does not make skillful Sailors."
* Teach with an eye of faith to our Savior Jesus Christ.
* LOVE them as Heavenly Father loves us.

Well what do ya know...tonight I was at church sitting in the hallway waiting for someone. I looked down at the chair next to me and saw this (probably left from Sunday, 2 days ago)...

Do you want to see what pure joy looks like?

Our little 10 1/2 month old granddaughter, Daisy, is SO proud.
And SO happy!

I love how Daisy looks to her left, where her Dad is,
making sure he is watching, too!

It's a done deal...onward and upward.

The week before escrow closed on Amy and Logan's house,

I wandered around to look over the empty rooms.

I could only do this a few minutes. I don't like goodbyes.

Even to houses.

Just before we left...

Amy calls out to me, "Look we're taking the desk out!"

She knew this was the same desk my boys did their homework on.

And they used it for their boys too.

I didn't even ask if it's going to their new house

or in a give away pile.

But this room.....

Amy said she told the new owners they will have to paint

over the twins' room because she couldn't do it.

Then I went home and looked up an old video that I made in this

room....just before they were born.....over 10 years ago!

A message from my Uncle

My Uncle Don (my Mom's brother) has always been an incredible
writer, and still isn't missing a beat at age 94!

So yesterday he wrote this message to his children, some friends, and me:

"Read in the current New Yorker that the screenplay for "The Irishman" was written my my godson, Steven Zaillian, who I haven't seen since he was in high school. His father, Jim, was my friend at Sanger High and Fresno State. He died in 1978 at 51, a heavy smoker and workaholic. Went to the office seven days a week as news director of all-news-all-the-time KNX radio in L.A., a pressurized job if there ever was one.

He married a Volga German girl, Alvina Schmidt, whose large family (there were at least 10 children) lived in a sheet-metal housing at a raisin plant across the road from us. She had an identical twin, Alvera. The girls and their betrothed were married in 1948 in a double ceremony at which I was best man for Jim. A month later I was in a tux for my brother. Best manning never happened again.

Steve Zaillian's great success was an Oscar in 1994 for writing "Schindler's List." I had read or heard little of him since, but a Googling today told me otherwise. He's been busy, and appears to have come back big-time amongst people named Scorsese, DeNiro, Pacino, and Pesci. The movie opens soon.

Dad/Don"

Uncle Don and my Dad together about 18 months ago.

Uncle Don can't hear very well, and my Dad couldn't talk much,
but I remember that day feeling they were still communicating.
I don't think words were even attempted.

I guess we aren't the only ones...

Getting back to our dinner with Téa on Saturday night....

She kept saying she had a youtube video to show us when we got home. She actually then went on tell us all about it, pretty much word for word.

Because that's what 10 year olds do.

You know how they say when you become a parent you get to live childhood all over again?

Ditto for a grandparent...because I could not quit laughing at this video. Maybe you have to be 10, or a grandparent to get it?

But, maybe it's not just the Grandmas and 10 year olds,
because it does have 7,200,272 views 😉

Moving Day

It's one thing to know it.
But it's another thing to actually see it.

For 15 years Amy and Logan and their family have lived here.

And yesterday was moving day. Or, moving week, as Logan calls it.

They asked if Téa could hang out with us for a few hours,
so we took her out to dinner.

While we were sitting there waiting for our food I told her:
"Did you know that 15 years ago, all in the same month, your Daddy married your Mom, became a father to 5, became an RN, got a new job at the hospital, and bought a house and moved in?"

She just smiled
so I said, "Téa, this all happened the very same month!"

Then she sort of woke up and realized what I just said,
and tried to make sense of it.

Then she announced, "But you said 5 kids....no, there's 7 kids."

"No, when your parents got married, there were 5 kids.
You and Jonas didn't come until 5 years later, and then there were 7."

That's okay Téa, your Grandpa and I know about glitches in the brain once in a while.

But the move doesn't seem like any big deal to her.

But someday it will be a big deal.

She doesn't know it now, but she will spend the rest of her life
looking back on memories of her first decade of life there.

Or at least her parents will.
So many many good times there!

Hard to believe this video was filmed EIGHT years ago!
Two are married with kids, and three are in college!

Just in case you want to follow along...

I found this couple through a friend of a friend of a friend.
So in other words, I don't know them.

And no, they don't belong to our church.

But I have been fascinated by what they are going through.

During my pregnancies I would sometimes have this dream that a foot or a hand of my little fetus would poke out through the top of my stomach. In utero is such a mysterious sacred place.

And then years later they actually came out with fetal surgery.
Can you imagine having someone do surgery on your baby before it's even born?

I have never known one person this has happened to, so it still seems even sort of science fiction like.

Then I found this couple, and I'm not even sure where they live exactly...but 3 hours from Cincinnati since that's where they needed to go for the surgery.

And that is where she has to stay for the remaining 4 months until she gives birth.

The very first video I watched of them was the day they learned their 20 week fetas has spina bifida, and that surgery was an option.

This story is not continuing to be a sad one. I love how they are turning to prayer and their faith more than anything else. They are very optimistic about the outcome.

Here is a link to the video about their fetal surgery...
(the picture on the front of it may be disturbing to some, so I just put the link rather than the video...and they don't show the actual surgery of course.)
Fetoscopic surgery vlog

And of course you can go to their youtube channel and see the videos in between.

You can also follow on Instagram where they have daily updates. @lexiethiery.

9 tips to get him to do chores

At the end of this post is a list by Gretchen Rubin
on how to get your husband to do chores without nagging.

Dennis likes to empty the dishwasher for me,
but since his stroke sometimes he has trouble holding onto things.

Occasionally a plate won't make it to the cupboard.

We've lost a few so far.

On another note, tonight we were eating at a Mexican restaurant.
It was obvious our waitress was new.
She seemed unsure of herself, and nervous.

She unknowingly dropped some food as she was carrying plates to
our table. She left quite a heap of scattered cheese on the floor.

As soon as she was out of sight, Den got down on the floor
(which was not easy for him) and quickly cleaned up her mess.
He didn't want her to get in trouble.

So here's Gretchen Rubin's list....

Number 1 would never work for me. The note yes, but the empty container...he would never notice. I like Number 2 the best!

But I think I would add a Number 10 to her list:
"Just be thankful for what he can do."

Getting ready for their big night

Karen and Tyler, in Idaho, are just about all ready
for their 2nd annual Halloween party....which was actually tonight.
So I'm anxious to hear about it!

But until then I can watch this video.

They had this first annual party last year, just 2
months after moving in. What a great way to make fast friends!

I love the excitement of it all,
and how they put their whole hearts into it!

Overnight Oats

So I've noticed for years these cute little overnight oats people put
in mason jars and then show them on Instagram or blogs. They
even make several at a time and have them all ready to eat in the
morning for days.

Cute food does not impress me in the morning. And why prepare
oatmeal ahead of time when it's so easy to make it the morning of?

That was until I read in Reader's Digest, Oct issue...
about Overnight Oats:

So then I took notice and decided to just give it a try. I put my 1/3
cup oats in a bowl with a cup of milk (I use oat milk), handful of
blueberries, and some raspberries.

Den and I put our bowls in the fridge the night before.

Sometimes we even make tomorrow's oats right after breakfast.

He likes his just plan,

and then he adds maple syrup and cashew butter in the morning.

Then next morning it did not appeal to me to eat it cold so I put it in
the microvave for 75 seconds....then add some sunflower seed
butter. The soaked oats texture seemed odd at first, but it was tasty.

And I soon noticed something else...it was more filling and stayed
with me most of the morning. Something about those oats being
soaked in that milk all night.

But what I noticed the most,
is they taste even better to me made this way.

Since Dennis doesn't like change I didn't expect him to like this
new oat way...but he does!

I'm sold. Done deal. This is the way I prefer my oats now.
Just thought I'd let you know.

Here's a question I've never had the answer to: Why are most
people content with the same breakfast every morning, but would
never want the same lunch and dinner every day?

I got to be with 7 year olds today

Dennis teaches the 7 year olds every Sunday at our church.

Today I got to help him since his team teacher couldn't make it.

I mostly just sat and listened

as Den taught them about Paul in the New Testament.

How Paul got thrown in prison but he could still pray,

and still had the ability to feel joy.

One little girl raised her hand and asked,

"But how could he feel joy in prison?

When I got a shot I didn't feel joy."

Den responded that we sometimes we have to

go through hard things,

but we know our joy will return.

And as the children were very intently listening,

Dennis said that no matter what we go through,

we know we can always pray.

We are never alone.

Another girl had a comment, that was only vaguely related,

"One day I saw someone at school being bullied.

I told them they shouldn't do that,

but they wouldn't listen to me."

Another girl advised her,
"You can pray about it.
And then you can warn the person who is a bully
that it's not very nice,

and they shouldn't hurt feelings like that."

Then the only boy in the class,

whose feet don't even touch the floor, had this to add:

"You can even pray with your eyes open

for the person who is being bullied."

It was like listening to group therapy run by 7 year olds.

Very sweet and wise 7 year olds.

I left there wishing that every 7 year old,

and every child,

knew about Jesus Christ and how He taught us to live.

Just as I was about to finish this post, I had to go on Facebook for
something and happened to see what a friend from my past wrote...
we knew each other as little children!

Today, he shared this on FB, and I couldn't agree more:

“When the focus of our lives is on … Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives.”

Unexpected Friendships

I listen to several podcasts. Mostly in the middle of the night when I wake up, and can't go back to sleep...like last night.

I just put on my sleep phones (they are soft earphones I can lay on), choose an episode, and then get lost in thought about what I'm listening to.

Last night's chosen episode was called Unexpected Friendships.

It's about 3 unexpected friendships....three different people shared their stories about pairing up with people they would never expect to hang out with, but did, and their lives changed for the better.

It's from the podcast This Is the Gospel. Yes, it's put on privately by members of our church, but I think anyone could relate to these 3 stories.

The first 1-2 minutes are a little slow, but then the stories begin...

Unexpected Friendships

I will be back with other podcasts I like.
If you have any to recommend to me, please do!!

I love October 11th for 2 reasons.

When McKenna told me that Baby Jack would be born on October 11th, I was happy because that was already a very special day to Den and I.

We "met" online on Oct 11th, 21 years ago.

I had no clue how much both our lives, and the lives of our children, would all change because of one email: