My Dad's Story was in The Fresno Bee

Go HERE to read about him. 
This is not an obituary, 
but a focus story The Bee did about him yesterday. 

In our paper today....

Go HERE to read more.

Elora and Great Grandpa

One day not too long ago,
Elora drove us to have lunch with Great Grandpa.  

I have to say it seemed so very strange. She did great, but still...
I wanted to say, "Elora move over and let me drive." 

Even though I see her pretty often, she still grew up so suddenly. 

Great Grandpa and Elora have always had a special relationship.

She was his first great grandchild of 44. 

After we arrived that day he kept staring at her....

Then he was trying to say something, 

but we couldn't understand what...

So Elora leans in closer and then she finally heard him ask, 

"Elora, what happened to you?"

"I grew up Grandpa!" 

And they both laughed and laughed. 

"It's puberty Grandpa. It was a wonderful thing!"

They had pretty much this same conversation a few months back, 

with the same reaction.

Dad would often say to me, "Tell me some more Elora stories."

Dad's family brought him lots of joy.

I had to fill out his profile in December when he was getting ready to move into Carmel Village. 

When asked what his greatest accomplishment was,

 he said without hesitation: "My children."

My Dad's List

Back in 2008, 

I posted here a list of truths my Dad lives by. 

It was written by him in 1976. 

So here it is. 

But this time, at the end I've included the comment 

my Dad left in 2008. 

1. That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has changed, but our ability to accomplish it becomes increased. (quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson from a talk by Heber J. Grant)

2. There is no such thing as a "free lunch"...somebody has to pay for it.

3. Man is that we might have joy.

4. The Sabbath was made for man not man for the Sabbath.

5. Don't take yourself too seriously.

6. Look for the weakness in other men to be the same as you have in yourself. Then you will have greater love and understanding for them and yourself.

7. The search for material riches is never ending.

8. The greatest accomplishment in my life is my family.

9. It is easy to let lust and greed be your motivating factor in your life (your gods).

10. The people I most admire are those who keep the commandments (the most righteous). They are also the most enjoyable to be around.

11. Honesty is the single most important quality a person should have.

12. Service to others brings the greatest happiness in life.



And here's the comment he left in 2008:

"Jill,
I don't remember this list at all. Thanks for resurrecting it. I don't know that I would change anything except the order they are in.
Dad"

My Dad graduated on Valentine's Day

Yesterday, which now seems so long ago...

two of my sisters and I gathered 

to be by the side of our Dad during his final hours.

We sat where we could (handy wheel chairs)

It was Valentine's Day

We were able to take some of that Valentine food 

back to Dad's room to eat.

He was fighting the good fight. 

And we knew it would not be long now. 

We looked at his poor beat up legs from all the times (30 plus)

he deliberately "fell" out of bed.

These same legs that ran 100s of miles in marathons.

When we would ask him why he was falling out of bed he would say something like, 

"I wanted to." or "It gives me something to do."

This all started after his Susan died on Christmas Eve.

He continued "falling" out of bed until the night before he died. 

We'd often wondered how he did this with paralyzed legs??

And on that night before Valentine's, I watched as he picked up each leg with his hands and tried to swing them over the side of his bed, preparing to launch.

"No Dad, don't do that." He could be a naughty patient. 

As the pain increased and before they got it under control, 

he wanted to hold our hands. 

Very tight, and both of them, as you see him with Peggy's.

Later when Dad was resting comfortably we all decided to go be with our Valentines, with plans to come back that same night, 

or first thing in the morning.

About 2 hours later the facility called.

It was Mary, the med nurse.

She said, "Hi Jill, uh, so Patricia the night nurse was just checking on your Dad, and she can't find a pulse." 

Maybe that was just her kind way of telling me?

Den drove while I called my siblings. 

As I walked into my Dad's room and saw him,

 I was filled not with grief, but gratitude. 

I just felt this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness 

that I had this dear man as my father. 

I thought of how hard he worked through the years for all of us. 

How his mother died when he was only six! 

He was just a little boy. A small little boy with no mom.

And he was never even told she died.

Just that she went away.

As I watched him in his bed last night, I thought of that little boy.

That little boy who grew up to marry my mom 

and have EIGHT children. 

His Dad soon remarried, and then remarried again.

My Dad was pretty much on the streets by age 13. 

I kept thinking of this line from a Reba McIntire song:

"...Everything he gave to us, took all he had." 

I looked around his room to things he left behind.

Oh that funny hat he wore on his 80th birthday.

Robin, Jill, Dad, Peggy, Heidi

The painting, one of his running friends did for him.

Two ice cream bars he hadn't finished. 

And how he loved his Rocky Road Ice-cream.

One night Robin bribed him saying, "Dad, if you stay in bed all night, tomorrow I will make you a chocolate milk shake." 

It worked! (but only for that one night)

And his peanut butter and celery for his snack each day. 

About the only healthy thing he kept in his apartment. 

My Dad lost his wife on Christmas Eve,

 and he died of a broken heart on Valentine's Day. 

I hope, I so hope, he knows how much he is loved. 

Better times are coming for him.

My Dad is not doing well. It's hard to see him suffer. 
They say he's transitioning.

I needed to see this video today....(taken 6 years ago)

My Dad during happier times... from Jill Shelley on Vimeo.

Consider this my public service announcement

Dennis had a little incident back in December that he was too embarrassed to talk about, until now.

He figures (or rather I do, and he agrees) that with Valentine's Day coming up it might be good to give this warning. 

Last December 14th, Den and I were at Brock's book launching party. 

There was quite a beautiful spread of desserts. 

But Den thought these looked the best....

So he took one of these cupcakes, and ate it. 

Problem is, he didn't notice that he also ate the un-eatable decoration (a tiny replica of Brock's book) on the top of it. 

About 15 minutes later he said he could feel something stuck in his esophagus. I asked him what he ate. He said, "Just one of those cupcakes." 

I looked them over and asked, "What did you do with the little book decoration on top of yours?" 

He said, "Was I suppose to take that off first?"

Oh no. 

After we got home, about 8:30 that evening, he called Kaiser. 

The nurse he spoke to made an appt for him to talk to a Dr Chin by phone at 9pm.  We LOVE Kaiser. It's a Friday night and we get to talk to a doctor in 30 minutes.

Dr Chin called right on time and the first thing he said to Den after he answered was, 

"So, I heard you ate a cupcake." 

After asking Den several questions, the doctor requested, "Have your wife watch your breathing all night and if anything changes have her bring you to ER." 

So I stayed up most of the night while Den slept peacefully. 

Next morning Dennis was still uncomfortable so he went to see his Primary care doctor, and was sent from there to Fresno Kaiser to have a scope put down his esophagus. 

Findings: nothing but a scraped esophagus.

All this trouble over a cupcake. 

Later that evening we went to the store to get a few things and decided to take a look at the cupcakes.

I think those little black hats on the snowmen 

would really hurt going down. 

So much plastic decor on top...

especially around the holidays. 

Most people don't eat the decor, 

but there's always that one person. 

And Brock's book....you can read about it out here!

9 1/2 is a GOOD age

Den's daughter, Kim, was raving about the new program 

Tidying Up, so I wanted to check it out. 

Last week with the twins here, we watched 3 episodes together.

Who could not love Marie Kondo!

She looks about the size of Téa. 

She smiles...alot.

And she teaches us how to fold clothes so small 

several can fit into shoeboxes. 

(Like this one family in episode 3 who lived in a small apartment with not enough drawer space.) 

Téa really got into it.

She would say, "I want to fold my clothes like she does!" 

Tonight while Den and I were out shopping in comes this text from Téa using her Mom's phone. 

Her text made my day!

Not only can she help with dinner now...

She can fold clothes the Marie Kondo way! 

The worrisome phone call

So we have the twins this week. The parents are in Vegas. 

Yesterday Amy calls me about 10:30am and says, “I just got an automated message from the school saying Téa is not there.” 

I said, "Of course she is there! Dennis brought them both to school this morning! And they weren’t even late.” 

She said, “Well the school says she’s not there. Maybe the teacher made a mistake?” Amy says she’ll call the school, then call me back.

Meanwhile, I call Den who's at Lowes, “The school called Amy in Vegas and said Téa is not at school.” 

“Of course she is! I dropped her off with Jonas. She’s there!” 

I said, “Well the school says she’s not.” 

Dennis laughed. “She’s with Jonas. No worries. She’s there.” 

My mind doesn't do as well as his when children are said to be missing. 

Amy calls back, “There was a mistake. She was accidentally marked absent.”  Whew

Den returns from Lowes, “Well the teacher should NOT be making mistakes like that!”

“Yes, but the school is run by humans."

Five hours later the twins are home with us. Tea remarks, “We had a sub today and he could not pronounce my name right! And he said I was not there. I raised my hand and said, “Yes I am. I am here!” But he would not listen to me." 

Then she went on (Téa always goes on.) “Our sub says he’s 30 but he does not look 30. He says he’s really 71 but ever since he was 30, he quit having birthdays.”

I am doing paper work as she's talking but suddenly I perk up, “71? Your sub today was 71? He is older than Grandpa Dennis!” 

I turn to Den, “Well that explains the missing Téa this morning.” 

Téa continues (she always does), “And you know what the sub calls sticky notes? He calls them squares.”

Den and I look at each other and one of us (can't remember which one) said, “The sub forgot what sticky notes are called.” 

We both understand the sub. 

All too well, we understand. 

Pondering his words...

Yesterday I was reading from our Church News about the funeral of President Russell M Nelson's "righteous and joyful" daughter, Wendy who died on Jan 11th. 

He of course spoke at her service, and I hope to always remember what he said towards the end of his talk: