A year ago this week I got a sad and shocking call from Dennis as he was coming home from the temple. He said Karen and Doug Ward were in a horrible car accident. She was killed instantly, and he was in critical condition. He died 2 days later, and a few weeks after that, we attended their double funeral.
It was so hard to process at the time. It still is. I kept thinking about their 5 kids and many grandchildren...several who lived on the same block as them.
So many memories come to mind. I want to share them here. Some of these memories are significant, some not as much, but I want to remember all of them.
*I remember the first time I met Karen and Doug in the south foyer of the Cedar church building in Fresno. I'm guessing it was about 1972? Young cute couple with their baby Kari in Doug's arms.
*Karen didn’t like it when Doug would have to work out of town so at least one time I spent the night with her.
*I was their son Matt’s Primary teacher when he was about 7. One day he left his jacket in the classroom so I brought it to their home later. Karen said he was very lucky because he'd already lost one jacket and if he would have lost this one too, she would not buy him another until next year. I thought she was one tough Mom.
*Before I got married to Bill in 1974, Karen invited me over so we could talk about married life. She let me ask all the questions I wanted to. I asked alot. Some particular advise she gave that day, has stayed with me all these 47 years later, and helped me in both my marriages. She said the first year of marriage you will learn what buttons not to push. The first year, she said, is hard because you don’t know what his buttons are, but as you learn and you don’t push them, marriage gets better. Very wise she was!
*She said one day early in their marriage she had taken tupperware out of the fridge getting ready to prepare dinner and then suddenly she had to leave and do something (can’t remember what it was...maybe pick up someone?) Anyway, meanwhile Doug came home and got so worried seeing the dinner in process but no Karen. Later he told her that really scared him.
*We worked together in Young Womens when I was just 18-19. One Saturday we took all the girls horse back riding. Cheryl Christopherson fell off her horse and was pretty banged up with cuts and blood and crying and shook up. Karen insisted she immediately get back on that horse and ride again. Karen told me if she didn’t she would always have a fear of horses. I can still see poor Cheryl slumped over the horse, crying, and trying to ride it. After a few short moments, Karen said, “Okay that’s enough.”
*Doug came to see me occasionally when I had mono back in 1973. At one point he said I needed to drink Tiger’s Milk to get better.
*I remember when their youngest daughter Kelly was a baby and had “failure to thrive.” After being in the hospital for awhile and not getting any better, the doctor said there was nothing more they could do for her, and they sent her home. Karen through much study and prayer discovered a homemade formula that Kelly could keep down. It was a combination of goat’s milk, blackstrap molasses and chlorophyll. Kelly soon got better and began to thrive.
*Karen use to wear Chantily cologne and whenever I smell it, even now, I think of her.
*My mom gave someone a bridal shower at her home. I think it was for Meredith Ashby. Karen’s gift to her was a large glass pyrex measuring bowl. I remember thinking at the time that I sure hope Karen gives me that when I get married.
*In 1979 shortly after my 2nd son Logan was born, one afternoon Doug dropped by to meet him. I thought that was so nice so I hurried into the bedroom to get Logie from his crib and bring him out to show. Doug looked right at him, and said, “Hmm” That wasn’t the reaction I was looking for so I said, “Isn’t he so cute?” That’s when Doug said he needed to go, and I thanked him for stopping by. That was the day I decided men are not good with looking at other people’s babies.
*In 1989 after Bill was shot several times in an armed robbery, Doug offered to take me to the hospital one day when it was extra foggy. We also had little McKay and Tyler with us. I remember Doug saying several times on our way there, “It’s like pea soup out there!”
*I remember seeing Karen and Doug at my Dad’s funeral in 2019. I’m certain (if they were in town) they were also at my Mom’s funeral in 2007, and Bill’s funeral in 1996.
*On one of our church youth trips with Karen in the presidency and me over the 12-13 year old girls, we all went to the beach. About part way during that day I remember Karen lying a beach towel down on the sand, and taking a nap. She was several months pregnant at the time and I couldn't understand how it was even possible for her to lie flat on her stomach. (Years later, during all of my pregnancies I discovered it was not only possible, but felt great to sleep that way.)
*I remember once discussing with Doug about my relationship with Bill while we were dating. At one point he hit the wall with his fist and said, “I sure like Bill.”
*On Dec 15, 1985 Bill and I and our kids came to Sacrament meeting like we did every Sunday. But on that day I was at the end of my last pregnancy and 17 days over due. I was fearful of my water breaking at any moment so I told Bill I just wanted to sit as a family in the “cry room.” ...a little room right off the chapel designated for parents and babies, complete with speakers. Doug found us and insisted we come sit on an open bench near the front. I can’t remember all these years later, who won.
*Den and I ran into Doug at Lowes a few months before they died, and he told us all about Karen’s Parkinson’s and how she was taking all her meds and doing well so far. He was a bit curious about my Dad’s brain surgery for his Parkinson’s so I made a mental note to tell them both about that later.
*Karen told me back in the day when her kids were little that as much as she loved her children, the hardest thing ever would be losing Doug.
I'm thankful neither one of them had to be long without the other.
Life is eternal. We will see them again!
