Who am I anyway?

Usually I sleep great. But this week, no. This is almost as unnerving as when I was pregnant myself. (well not quite :) Come to think of it, Den was consoling me this morning the way one does with a pregnant woman..."It won't be long now. Just hang in there. I hope you get your call today and you will be so happy."

I have to lie in bed at night and tell myself, 'You are not the mother. You are the grandmother.'

I really thought when I got to this stage in my life I would worry less. No. I have more people to worry about now.

NOT to put anymore pressure on sweet Amy. Actually every extra day the twins are in there is a good thing. We are all feeling so blessed she has made it this long. She is such a trooper. She cannot sleep for very long at a time, and she can only eat a little at each meal because she has run out of room. Just about everywhere she goes, people stare and make comments. I ran into her last week in Old Town. She was dressed in black, which I have never seen her do. She said she thought it would make her less noticeable.

Amy just keeps smiling. She is forever optimistic. Forever grateful to be having this opportunity to bring these babies into the world. I am, too.

Last night

I am also happy Tyler is marrying Karen in just 23 days. They are so in love, so ready for this new adventure that will totally and completely define and change their future.

But with all this excitement it is hard to sleep these days. This reminds me of when I was pregnant with Brock, my first. For some reason, I had terrible insomnia with him, but not my other pregnancies. I would literally go days with hardly any sleep at all. I finally talked to my doctor about it and he said, "We find that our patients go to sleep when they get tired enough."

I just hope I don't "get tired enough" the day the call comes. I don't want to miss this birth for anything. And I sure don't want to sleep through Tyler and Karen's wedding.

Got my rolling suitcase packed.
Same one I brought with me when Dennis had all his surgeries.
And when my Dad had his brain surgeries in SF.
And when my mom was hospitalized.
I also had it with me when Elora and Campbell were born.
It's packed with cameras, water, protein bars,
and then I will put my purse inside as soon as it's time.

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