Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I didn't forget Logan

Some have asked why I did not do a post on my son Logan's 30th birthday last Friday. I'm pretty much done with birthdays. I don't mean I am done celebrating...of course not, never.

But I am done with them on this blog.

I've been doing this blog for over a year now. I don't want to risk repeating myself.

Having said all that, I also have to say that Logan's birthday last Friday was a time of reflection for me. As I watched him getting the babies out of their car and into the restaurant, I couldn't help but think back to the past 4 years and all they went through to get these babies here.

If we could just see the plan while we are going through all the pain, how much easier this life would be. Apparently this life is not meant to be easy.

Within 3 months of their marriage 4 years ago, Amy had a surgery with a very painful recovery, thinking this would help her get pregnant. It was successful at first, and we were so excited to get the call from Logan announcing they were pregnant...only to be followed a few weeks later with the disappointing news that she had a miscarriage.

Scar tissue quickly formed and we soon learned both of her tubes were blocked. No babies for them. It's not like they were a candidate to adopt with the 5 beautiful children Amy brought to this marriage.

Their only option was In-vitro. But that is so so expensive...and very difficult both emotionally and physically. Logan and Amy were determined so they signed up.

All those hormones, shots, Dr appts, etc and finally the big day came to retrieve the eggs. All was looking so promising. Then back to the hospital a few days later to have the embryos implanted. Then the waiting to see if it worked. 14 days later it all went away with one phone call, "It's negative."

The hope gone. The money gone.
Do they try again? Can they try again?

Okay, so they save up a bunch more money...thousands more $$$. Go back to the dr, more shots, more pills, the hospital to retrieve the eggs, and the hospital again for the implantation. This time Amy decided she wants to try complete bedrest after the implanting of the embryos. She comes straight to our house from the hospital this time.

Stays in bed for 7 days.

Hard not to focus completely on those embryos. Do they stay implanted this time? Is she pregnant? We cry together. We stay up late into the night and talk and plan and then try not to get our hopes up...and then talk and cry some more.

14 days later she goes back for the blood test. Amy is the first one at the lab at 6am. Goes home and waits. No one calls her. Hours later she finds they have lost her results. She is so nervous, so anxious she has a friend take her out to lunch. While there, her cell phone rings. "I'm sorry, it's negative."

Amy calls me. Has to tell me the news. I could barely hear her soft little tearful voice saying to me, "It didn't work."

We are all crushed. How can they keep doing this?? How can they afford this again?

Amy says she is done. She can't do this anymore. It's too hard. It's so expensive. So emotionally draining.

I knew they were not done.

A year later they decide they will do whatever it takes. They will not only go for another In-vitro, but they will have FIVE of them back to back. FIVE months of this was their plan. They felt the odds would be in their favor this way.

My prayers began changing. I would plead, "Please let them get pregnant on the first month of this." So far they had not gone into debt over this. They would just save and save and work really hard until they could pay cash. But FIVE times in a row this time?!

Back to the doctor. Back to all the hormones. This time Amy does not want to talk about it much. She just wants to get it done and then try not to focus on it. Trying to protect herself from more disappointment. You can read about that day of the egg retrieval here.

The embryo implantation and video here.

Then we finally get some very GOOD NEWS here.
What a most exciting and unforgettable day that was!

The day we found out there were twins, here.

The day we thought she was losing them here.

But we didn't lose them. They were born just 5 days before their father turned 30. I think Logan would say this was his happiest birthday ever. I am so happy for them. I am so happy for us.

Big brother and sister, Chandler and Kylie, the day the babies were born.
Just 9 days ago.

Austin with Jonas

Macie and Laurynn
Chandler and Kylie


grandmapeg said...

I am so happy for Amy and Logan to receive such a nice blessing after all of the trials they went through. This probably is one of the happiest if not the happiest birthday gifts for Logan. Babies are indeed a gift from heaven. Such cute pictures of Logan and Amy's family!!! Happy belated birthday to Logan!

Dad and Susan said...

Wonderfulness, happiness, joyfulness, lovliness, specialness, awesome-ness, gratefulness are words that come to mind. We love the "history" of this miracle. Love, Dad and Susan

Mary said...

I loved how Chandler was ready to hand over his crying brother. Such a real moment!

Mary said...

There really are no real words to describe their experience except they they are POWERFUL human beings. I love their SPIRITS & I love that they are TOGETHER in the stream of life. What a precious family and what an incredible expample of FAITH< HOPE & DEVOTION. Good writings Jill!

I totally understand what you mean about Birthday posts. I'm done on my anniversary date in September this year! Thanks for being an example to me.

darlene said...

Very moving. Double blessings.

Eileen said...

Thanks so much for posting this story. You have such a beautiful family. I've been reading some of your older posts too and the life story of your family is amazing, Faith and Love live here, something wonderful for you to cherish, and so generous of you to share it with others. Thank you. Many Blessings to you all.

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

Wow. I didn't know they went through so much. Way to go you guys. I am so glad you stuck with it. We now have two beautiful babies to enjoy and get to know.

I am sad about the birthday thing. I really enjoyed that. Maybe you can just put a picture of the person then and now on their day. Please???

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting an update about how the twins are doing. I have checked Amy and Logan's blog and they haven't posted anything about them. So glad someone is keeping us all informed.

Jill said...

Just curious...but please tell me who anonymous is above. I'd love to know. As for Amy and her blog, she is very busy and very very sleep deprived. I don't know about last night, but the night before last she did not get to sleep until 6am...only to have Jonas wake her up again at 7:30. Still, she is as sweet as always and says, "oh that's okay, this part will only last about 2 months." They are all really enjoying the babies.

Anonymous said...

Kate, fellow infertility survivor. Couldn’t wait to announce my twins on my blog. I know how busy and tired she is, I’m just surprised she hasn’t posted about the arrival of these long awaited miracles.