This haunts me now, even though I don't remember this even happening. I wonder if McKay does?
My sister Robin saved two boxes of memories from my parents. In one of those boxes I found a letter
last night I had written to them while they were on their mission, dated June 25, 1993.
Our scanner is broken so I will just type my most concerning paragraph here.
Just FYI, McKay was 9 and Logan was 14.
"...McKay got 3 goldfish on Saturday from a birthday party. He
worries about these fish and it's driving us all nuts! A few days
ago Logan told him his fish would die of boredom because
there were no rocks or decorations in the fish bowl. So here it
was 9pm and McKay began insisting we help him find rocks in
our backyard for them. We were all tired and no one was in the
mood to go outside in the dark looking for rocks for his fish, so
he ended up crying himself to sleep. The next night he began
crying again because he was certain the middle fish didn't get
any food when he fed them that morning. Bill suggested we
move the middle fish into a bowl of it's own and let McKay feed
it separately. I told Bill that if we did that once we'd be doing it
every night! Robin says goldfish only live 2 weeks, so we're hoping..."
What was so important that evening that I couldn't have gone outside to get a few rocks for McKay's
fish? Or why didn't I make Logan do it? He's the one who said the fish would die of boredom. It's not
McKay's fault that he has always cared for every living thing.
And why didn't I just take Bill's suggestion and get a separate bowl for the middle fish?? And why
does this bother me 23 years later? It's not like I can do anything about it now.
5 comments:
The answer is pretty clear...you were a bad mother. But doing much better now, of course.
I remember quite vividly the goldfish that jumped out of the bowl in your room which you found under your bed. That's probably where the 2 week rule came from. I am not making this up. I can still picture that poor stiff little fish.
We all have regrets. Feel it and let it go. You were, overall, a great mother! And McKay's tender heart remained intact in spite of anything that ever happened. Children are remarkably resilient.
darlene
Ditto to what Darlene said. (I'm still shaking my head over Richard's comment)pjc
I love you, Jill. That's all.
=)
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