Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Just 3 or 4 words

When I am out and about, I often see young families struggling 
with their children. 

They usually look tired, and distracted.

I want to reach out to them in some way, but I usually don't know 
quite what to say. 

So I will smile. 

Or like I did with one frustrated Dad we saw at a restaurant 
recently. It was obvious he was really trying but his 2 toddlers were 
having none of it.  I leaned over to him as we were walking out the 
door and said, "You're a really good Dad." 

But yesterday I learned of something I could have said that 
sums it up better perhaps.

I got it from this article that was somehow sent to my in box 
yesterday. Next time I will say: "It's worth it." 

Or maybe I will even say, "It's all worth it." 

Whenever I have my grandkids and their parents come for any 
extended period of time I'm reminded how exhausting it is to be 
parents of very young children. 

There is nothing quite like that kind of tired. 

And it's not like the parents can get a good night rest before going 
through it all over again the next day. 

They parent round the clock, 
no matter how they slept, 
no matter how they feel. 
Thank you Leo for taking this picture of Mommy and little sister.
When you grow a little taller maybe you could include their heads.

I also happened upon this yesterday by Jeffrey Holland. He was 
talking specifically to parents:
”...You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth 
is there to bless you—He who resolutely goes after the lost sheep, sweeps thoroughly to 
find the lost coin, waits everlastingly for the return of the prodigal son. Yours is the work of 
salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and 
better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may 
sometimes feel that to be...”


Anonymous said...

Thank you for these words. I needed this extra support. I've just come away from three physically, but more emotionally, exhausting daytimes with my teen grandson. I am glad for any time with him. My exhaustion will pass; the fond memories will be with me forever.

Tyler Heasley said...

I'm sure that dad really appreciated the comment! I would personally rather hear "You're a good dad" over "It's worth it." I guess everyone is different. When I'm struggling in public, I'm really self-conscious, especially when I know my voice should be softer than it is to not draw attention to my parenting. It's very embarrassing. So to hear someone say I'm a good dad will make my day, because in that moment you feel like a failure. In public, it's less about it being worth it and more about getting through a difficult social moment.

Either way, a nice comment from someone goes a long way! I don't think you can go wrong in reaching out to a struggling parent.

Grandma Honey said...

I agree with you Tyler. I don't think I explained it very well above. I was trying to say that to say "It's worth it" applies to just about every struggling parenting situation I see. My brain doesn't think as quickly as it use to and moments out in public come and go so people tend to leave before I can think of what to say :) So I was happy to learn a catch all phrase. But I agree, if it appears someone is being a great parent, I think it only helps them to hear that. It's more personal than "It's worth it."

This reminds me of a time you and I were in Target many years ago. I can't remember what you were showing me but whatever it was I said to you, "Oh my gosh!" Suddenly this man appears from another aisle and said to me, "I just have to tell you that I was happy you said, "Oh my gosh" Most people say something else, so it was nice to hear." THAT man totally made my day. It's the little things people tell us that are the big things.

And that man I referred to in my post? He did seem very happy I told him he was a good dad.

Richard said...

I agree with Tyler...and you're a good mom, Jill.

Scrapally said...

A kind word goes a LONG way! Amanda was on the airplane with her 2 boys once and after quite a struggle and they finally went to sleep, the lady across the aisle told her she was a good mom and those boys were lucky to have her. That lifted her spirits so much! Especially as she was contemplating her upcoming divorce. You were great to notice and to say something. I love the quote from Elder Holland too. What an uplifting post!

Lisa said...

This post is symbolic of why I love you so much. You're perceptive and aware of the people around you. So many of us have our heads down and our focus on eDevices. I so enjoyed your insights and wisdom in this post. I felt like one day your little grandchild will read this and be blessed by these insights when they become parents 20 years from now. Love you friend!