Thursday, January 24, 2013

Different styles of parenting?

So when the twins arrived here on Sunday night without their coats, 
I thought we could just improvise if they got cold. 
Monday at the cemetery is was near 70' so they were just fine.

But later in the evening when we decided to take them to Carrows for dinner, 
it was quite nippy. 

Téa decided she would just put her bathrobe over her clothes. 
Problem solved. No big deal. 

For some reason Den thought a bathrobe was not good to wear to a restaurant.
Men are different about these kind of things.
Téa is 3 1/2. Does it really matter what a toddler wears as long as she is dressed and happy? 
That was my thinking. 

However, I guess I didn't realize how much this bothered Dennis. 
As we were getting out of the car, 
and he took Miss Téa out of her car seat in her fluffy pink robe, 
he said quietly so just I could hear, 
"She looks like something from a homeless camp."

And then as we entered Carrows, and on to our table, 
he stopped and said to a nearby couple, "Her parents didn't give us a coat." 

I thought, are you kidding me? My poor dear husband. 

It was right about then that I told him he probably would not have liked my mothering 
back in the day, long before I met him. 
I let my kids wear their Halloween costumes on any given day or month. 
And then there was almost an entire month or 2 or 3 when Logan wore his church suit 
everywhere including to bed. 
(well except to church, it was too dirty and worn for that...wearing it every day and all.) 

I learned not to sweat the small stuff from my Mom. 
And she was way better at it than I am. 

Then suddenly Grandpa Dennis could not quit laughing.
No one was laughing but him.

I just could not relate to what the big deal was about that robe.

Den was so distracted by the pink robe, 
that he didn't even mention the monkey on Bubba's back. 

The way I see it, neither of us is wrong or right about this. 
Just differences in thinking. Agree? 


Kris said...

I'm still laughing! I can totally picture dad while reading this!

grandmapeg said...

I have always been so uptight about what my children wore out in public and I'm that way about my grandchildren that I am more like Dennis in that aspect, but at home, they could wear anything they wanted and any time. But, like you said, neither is wrong or right.

Anonymous said...

I have to laugh! My boys wore the craziest things in public. And, yes, they wore superhero costumes to the store and everywhere. IF they were sick, and I HAD to take them out, they wore their pajamas. Frankly, I thought they were cute and definitely not offensive.
The truth is, as long as they were dressed and had shoes on (oh, sometimes they were in their slippers if they couldn't find their shoes) I was fine with it. Making sure they were always dressed in a certain way would have caused me unnecessary stress, and I didn't need that.

Dennis said...

When Téa gets older, she'll probably see that picture of her and I and say "Grandpa, you weren't exactly dressed to the 9's either."


Grandma Honey said...

Uh Den, I don't think Téa will be saying that exactly. It must be a saying from your generation that went out before I was born, because I've never even heard it.

Grandma Honey said...

Darlene---Totally relate to what you wrote! And to this day I'm more drawn in to little children who obviously dressed themselves.

And I had one son who it was a struggle just keeping his clothes I was totally good with whatever he wore, as long as it was something.

Grandma Honey said...

Oh and another favorite of mine is when I see kids who have cut their own hair! It's usually the bangs and usually right in the middle! Most parents try to fix it but I like it better when they just leave it alone for all to see. Adorable!

Scrapally said...

another fun post! Ah, to be as carefree as a 3 year old...Den is a good two have a lot of fun, I can tell!

Rebecca said...

honest? Well I guess I would have to side with Dennis on this one. I probably would not have taken one of my grand kids out in their bathrobe. I was never one to take my kids out in their jammies. But that's just me I guess.....however I do have to say that pink robe is pretty cute!!

nrozier said...

I love this post! I totally agree that it is just differences in thinking--no right or wrong.

The other day Brian and I went to an impromptu dinner party in our robes, pajamas and slippers (everyone else was dressed in real clothes). We got a last minute invite after we were ready for bed and figured the only way we would motivate is if we just went "as is."

I have a feeling my future kids will be venturing out of the house in some interesting outfits.

Lisa said...

My husband is the exact same way. I let jasmine go out with sweats. That is a no no with G so we all put jeans on her for any trip in a car regardless of minutes in car! Love you guys!

Karen Mortensen said...

Oh well. Whatever works and keeps the peace.

Anna said...

Tea is so cute in the robe, but I tend to side with Dennis on this one. And I have heard of dressed to the 9's!

Grandma Honey said...

Thanks Anna! Dennis will appreciate that. And I just yesterday read in a recent published book about "dressing to the 9s" and the author was only about 30. So I'm not sure why I had not heard of it.

Karen~ I know, it's always about keeping the peace, right?

Lisa~ Sweats? I once put all 4 of my boys in sweats as we made a 2 day travel trip to AZ years ago. They wore them the entire 2 day journey, even slept in them that night in the hotel. They didn't shower and changed until we got to their grandparents house. It was one of our less chaotic trips and I think the sweats really helped with that.

Natalie~ You are SO related to me! I wish you would have taken a picture of you and Brian at that dinner party. If any friends ever come to our house dressed in jammies and robes I couldn't help but feel honored that they felt so comfortable with us.

Rebecca~ Another score for Dennis! I always like your honesty Rebecca. I can count on that from you, which is a good thing.

Scrapally~Carefree as a 3 year old...yes!

Lisa said...

Haha...Jill...where's the "like" & "no like" buttons for the stream of comments on this post! The world is full of opinions! : ) "like"

Anonymous said...

At a certain point, (junior high?) kids become extremely self-conscious of their appearance, and you can tell by how uncomfortable they look in public. They are so scared of being judged by others. It is hard to watch them go from freely being themselves at all times to finding themselves unacceptable. I was careful not to assist in that uncomfortableness by showing embarrassment over my children's clothing choices. They still went through that stage, but I like to think a little less than some others did.

the Rich girl said...

I've always wanted to have a "come as you are" party--as in, when your guests show up to the party, they are supposed to wear whatever they were wearing when you called and invited them. (I saw it once in an Archie comic when I was a kid, and the idea has always stuck with me.)

Grandma Honey said...

Karen...I have always wanted to go to one of those parties too! They use to be popular back in the 1960s I think it was. I remember my Mom went to several and I loved hearing about all the different things people would show up in. So when I grew up I thought I'd get a call like that someday but I never did!

Sue said...

This cracked me up! And yes, everyone's parenting style is different.

I think I like the not sweating the small stuff approach myself.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry I forgot to pack coats! Although the forecast was in the mid 60"s, so maybe that is why I didn't. I don't know if I would let Téa wear the bathrobe out with me but I have let her wear dress up clothes or capes out in public. She quite often dresses herself and it is not the cutest but I let her. I get lots of compliments from people about letting her express herself. I think it is funny Dad was embarrassed! I loved this post, it made me laugh!!

Anonymous said...

This made me laugh OUT LOUD!! I have had that happen, but always seemed to have extra blankets in the car which the kids ended up bundled in.
I also have started laughing by myself like Dennis.
~nurse Tracie~
p.s. I've also heard "to the nines." My mother used that expression all the time. I sometimes say it myself!