I'm glad my Dad is not still with us, because that would mean he would still be suffering, and we're so thankful he's not.
We know he's happy.
I do reflect back to last February 12th...just 2 days before he passed. This was the last time he sat in his wheel chair.
Normally he would ask me to get his friend Barbara across the hall when he was having a hard time...or even when he wasn't.
But on that day when I asked, "Do you want me to get Barbara?" He said flatly and firmly, "No."
She came anyway.
She wasn't able to comfort him this time. So after she left, I just sat on the nearby couch and watched my Dad.
He was completely awake and aware, yet I found it curious that he kept raising his arms up and out like he was trying to grab something in the air. He did this over and over again. I'd never seen him do anything like this.
I wish, I so wish now, I would have asked him why he was doing that. He would have told me. But I didn't.
I finally got my camera out and tried to capture what I saw but by then it wasn't as obvious, but you can still kind of see in these pictures.
And no, his eyes weren't totally closed.
He hadn't had good use of his hands in a long time, but he's trying to grab whatever it is he sees with his index finger and thumb.
Later when I asked hospice about this, they told me it's very common for a person to do as they get close to passing. His hospice nurse told me the dying try to grasp something invisible. Something invisible? Maybe to us, but not to him.
Then I mentioned this to someone else, but can't remember who it was. A friend? My sister? I don't remember, but they offered this idea, "He may be seeing people from the other side. And maybe he is trying to reach out and touch them."
He did mention to my sister Robin, I think the next day, something about Gaynor. (our Mom) She couldn't make out his words but she did hear Gaynor.
Perhaps that's who he was seeing?
We aren't privileged to know that, yet. But someday we will. And someday our Dad will be able to tell us all about that day, and 2 days later when he passed, and all the days since.
I can tell this cartoon was saved by my Mom since it was cut with pinking sheers.