I admit I am not an animal person.
We originally got Alex 18 years ago from a family in our ward,
the Alexanders (hence her name).
My sons loved her, even fought over her at times.
Whenever we were doing something together, like having FHE or watching a movie,
they would take turns holding her. She was part of our family.
I didn't like having her in the house, and more or less tolerated for the benefit of my sons.
When I married Dennis, he wanted Alex to become an outdoor cat.
I was relieved.
No more cat hair in our home, no more worrying about leaving food on the counter
and wondering if Alex had touched it.
No more having a cat suddenly be in bed with us in the middle of the night.
As the boys left home one by one, guess who got to take care of her?
Well okay, it was mostly Dennis, but I was concerned for her, too.
As she aged we made her a special cardboard bed complete with an electric heating pad
which she so loved on the cold winter nights.
She became our little friend. But also, the final remnant of my sons' childhood.
We tried to be matter of fact yesterday morning as we drove to the vet with her in a box in the backseat.
She was calm in that box so Dennis thought it best.
So I started filling out the new forms with Den reading over my shoulder.
He quickly points out to me... "She's not a male."
I quickly pointed out to him that "I know Alex is a female."
I think marking M for male is just reflex for me.
I've lived with only males for the past 38 years.
Then we are lead into the examining room and meet the vet.
She checks Alex out and tells us several of her organs are failing and she's jaundiced.
I asked the Dr if there was anything she could do for Alex.
She assured me that anything they would do would only prolong her suffering.
Then I cried.
Because after all these years, I love Alex.
And I also see in her, my boys' childhood.
They have their own lives, and their own loves now.
But I'm their Mom, and I feel in my heart the devotion they had for Alex.
Then we are sent into another room, which Dennis called "the mourning room."
We were told to wait for about 10 minutes
while they get the IV in Alex
and then they would let us say our goodbyes before they give her the final shot.
I didn't understand why they had to give Alex an IV.
The vet said something about it being easier for Alex.
Made no sense to me, but I'm new at this so I said okay.
So we wait much longer than 10 minutes.
I go out of the mourning room and ask the desk what is taking so long...
plus it smelled awful in that room and I wanted out.
The desk tells me to go back in to mourn
(well not in those words, but she wanted us to stay in there)
So we did, but with the door open this time.
In walks an assistant and says to us,
"We are having a hard time getting the IV in because Alex is so spunky."
I immediately said, "Spunky? She's spunky? Well then maybe she isn't ready for this."
The assistant assures me the Dr thinks it's time.
So then I ask again, "I don't know why they have to give Alex an IV??'
She explains they are actually installing a port so the medicine can go right into Alex.
So the assistant leaves and we wait again.
She comes back and says, "Alex's blood pressure is so low that we can't get an IV in her."
So I'm thinking, what happens now? Do we come back when she is healthier?
She continues, "So we will have to give Alex a shot instead.
We will bring her to you as soon as we complete the shot."
I said, "But we haven't said goodbye to her yet. We want her eyes still open."
The assistant assures us that her eyes will be open.
They soon brought her to us.
Dennis stroked her and rubbed her and we both talked to her as she purred...
She purred until her last breath,
and then she was gone in less than a minute.
I wish I would have known enough to tell them to just give the one shot,
like they ended up doing at the end anyway!
I hate the thought of them poking her trying to get that dumb IV in.
Tonight the neighborhood seems empty.
Goodbye Alex
PS Thank you Heidi G for this great picture of her.
I hope you don't mind that I'm using it here.