Saturday, October 9, 2010

Courageous Parenting

I never felt right about sleepovers when my sons were growing up.  I just didn't.  But it was such a common thing to do, part of a "normal" childhood, right?

I was accused often of being overprotective.  Because of this,  I feared that my sons might "turn out" like the 2 'boys' down the street from us.  They never ventured out on their own, and still shared a wagon wheeled bedroom set, when they were in their 40s. If one of them came to see us, 5 houses down, their Mom would often call them within 15 minutes to make sure they were okay.

So no, I did not want my boys to be like them. 

I wanted them to be men, and move out, and have families of their own, and be happy.

So I suffered through the many sleepovers.  As the years went on, and the world got crazier, I started deleting more of their friend-sleepover ideas.  But I often felt like a Mom all on her other Mothers I knew seemed to have a problem with it.

So can you imagine how happy I was last Sunday afternoon when Elder Larry Lawrence said this in his talk:

"May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures?  I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend.  As a Bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of the sleep over.  Too often their first exposure to pornography, and even their first encounter with the police, occurred when they were spending the night away from home.  Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence, and our defenses are weakened late at night...Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children."

I am so thankful for General Conference, and the guidance we get to receive.

I'm also thankful my sons all enjoy watching it, too.  Even when they live in Provo, and their Uncle Richard so kindly has them all over.  It's a great time to be with extended family. 

I heard that for some reason Sunday morning the water in the Mcs apartment wouldn't turn on.  
So they couldn't shower.  
Just as they were leaving to go to Richard's, the water came back on, so all they had time for was to brush their teeth! 
I heard that Richard made them all "delicious omelets."  
And cousin Lindsay made "Wendy's Cowboy Caviar."
And then later she made "delicious choc chip oatmeal cookies."  

Oh, and between conference sessions they all played an intense game of UNO. 

My SIL, Wendy, was here in Clovis for the weekend!
And of course Dennis was in Utah.
We are all back in our own homes now.

Thank you Karen for taking the pictures!!


Sue said...

How fun to have so many members of your family spending conference together. And the food sounds yummy, too.


cristie said...

This quote really struck home with our family as well. As a matter of fact all of your conference comments really impacted me as i enjoyed once again hanging out with family and being reminded of the great work we have to accomplish.

My married children are death on sleepovers. I'm pleased. xox

Lisa said...

There's no place like home & GC! I was struck by that talk too! I enjoyed this post as it brought back tender feelings of gratitude!!

Chris and Cortney Walker said...

My parents never let us sleepover as well, I never understood why, Now being a parent myself I understand better! I am so grateful that my parents listened to Elder Lawernces counsel when he was our stake president!

Scrapally said...

I was a "mean mom" and didn't let my kids do sleepovers (there were a few rare occasions) and I have never regretted it. I only hope they will take Elder Lawrences advice and do the same for their own children. And tell Dennis, no more sleepovers in Utah! ha ha...

Karen Mortensen said...

I love seeing all the pictures. Looks like everyone had fun.
I wish somebody would have told me that Wendy was in Clovis.

Grandma Honey said...

Scrapally~ I should have hung out with you when I was raising my kids!

Cortney~ I wish I had heard Elder Lawrence's counsel back then.
Fun to see you here, btw...makes you seem like you are still living here :(

Karen~ I didn't know she was going to be in town until she came :)

Cristie~ Good for your married kids!!!!

Sue~ GC has always been a really big deal in my family. I wondered if your husband brought some of his ward to watch it at your house!

Lisa~ Speaking of gratitude, there was an excellent talk about that at GC, but I can't remember who gave it. ??

Scrapally said...

Jill, I forgot to tell you that I stopped my kids' sleepovers after reading Elder Cook's book, Raising up a family unto the Lord. That's when it all started for me...(way back when!)It's a GREAT book for parenting.

darlene said...

Yeah, I liked my kids to be in their own beds at night, too.

Natalie said...

My parents didn't allow sleep overs either. According to a blog forum I recently read on the topic, it seems that most young LDS mothers feel the same way. You were just ahead of your time=) I think the gratitude talk was by President Monson=)

Grandma Honey said...

Scrapally~ I had heard of that book but I don't think I've ever even looked at it. Now I am curious.... I will see if I can find a copy. We are going to DI this weekend so maybe I will find one there...

Natalie~ Thanks for letting me know who gave the gratitude talk!

Christi Williams said...

Grandma Honey Thank you for stopping by my blog.

This talk is from my past Stake President, this was the counsel we received many years ago when my oldest was 11 years old. (she now is 25) President Lawrence and his wonderful wife held a fireside for Parents with children under the age of 12. The words rang so true to me, we had already had two bad experiences with our oldest daughter staying the night at others years before and had already made the discussion not to do sleep overs.

I knew what he was saying that night was true and it was wonderful to hear it. Donny and I as parents took this counsel to heart. We faced much opposition through out the years, even from our extended family. But I knew may first and primary concern was the health and well being of my children.

My nine children now range in age 5 to 25, two of them are married.

It is still a battle at times, but now the world has heard it and I hope we will all support each other.

Thank you Elder Lawrence

Anonymous said...

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Grandma Honey said...

I would but I don't know how. Can you teach me?