More wedding pictures

I have the best daughters in law!  
Within the same hour this afternoon, Erin brought over a big cd of pictures from my Dad's 80th birthday party from 2 days ago (I'll share those later)....and Karen emailed me the pictures below from the Mc-Wedding.


My 4 sons, plus Karen, got to stay in this fun house (good friends of McKenna's parents) the night before the wedding.
Next morning, McKay leaves for the temple


Video below was taken BEFORE the wedding.
He looks a bit nervous in this one.  Unlike after they were just married, showing sheer happiness.


And look at the nieces McKay has now inherited!
Anna, Hannah (Hannah is a cousin to the other 3), Jane, and Elizabeth
(plus a cute 2 year old nephew Nathan, who I heard did not want to be in this picture)
First dance together.
Thank you sweet Karen for taking all these pictures for me!!!

And speaking of daughters in law.  
Our Amy spent several hours today at ER with back pain.  
She is home now, but they still don't know what is causing it.  
Maybe, just maybe, could this have something to do with it?
This is a flashback picture.  They are even heavier now. :)
Hope you feel better real soon Amy!  You are too good to be in so much pain.

Mr. and Mrs. coming out of the temple

Yesterday minutes after McKay and McKenna walked out of here:
They called me on the phone!
Dennis heard someone say,  "Why are they talking on the phone now?"  
(They probably thought...can't they wait on the cell phone, they just got married!)


But I will never forget the sweetness of the moment of including me.  
I had just barely walked in the door from being at the temple here.  

Watch them make their entrance.
Isn't she beautiful!



Why I won't be at my son's wedding tomorrow

I'm sorry this is so long. 
I don't know if anyone will even read it, but I had to write it.  I may change my mind, and pull it off later.



This is a post I never thought I would write.
Because I don't want to.


I know some use their blogs to tell it all. I'm not like that.  But I feel prompted to share this, so I will.


When I was 19 years old I was working at JC Penneys, I was teaching the 12-13 year old girls at our church, I was attending our local college fulltime, and I was dating a wonderful man who I loved.  Busy and happy is what I was.


That August I had just returned from a week long camping trip with my family.  I woke up that next morning with my neck very swollen.  Very noticeably swollen, but no other symptoms.  I remember going into my parents' bedroom and finding my Mom.  She was awake but just lying there. I asked her to look at my neck.  What's wrong with me?  She sat up, looked at it and said I needed to make a dr appt.


Later that day I was in the dr's office and after blood was drawn I was told I had Mono.  "Oh, that's all, what  a relief" I remember thinking.  I felt fine so what's the big deal.  My dr told me symptoms to look for in the days ahead and said he had some "special medicine" if I get really bad, but he did not want me taking it unless I absolutely needed it.


Within the next few days I became very ill with high fevers, vomiting, the worst sore throat ever.  Pretty typical of a bad case of mono.


After a week of this Mom called the dr back and said it was time for that "special medicine".  I didn't want to take it, even back then I was suspicious of drugs and the side effects.  But I was miserable, so I did.  They were steroids.  Not as common place back in 1973, as they are today.


I felt totally well by the time my week supply of steroids were used up.  I felt better than fine.  I felt better than I did even before I got sick. 


I saw no reason not to resume my normal life.  Back to school and work, back to my church calling.  Back to dating.  I was sleeping little, and had lots of energy.  And not eating well. 


Then one day in October, 2 months later, I collapsed at work.  I went home and went to bed, completely exhausted.  With each passing day I seemed to be worse than the previous one.  I was very short of breath.  Three months later, in  January, I was put in the hospital for 8 days.


My "recovery" period went on for months and months.  I don't want to even say how long because in many ways I've blocked that period of time out of my mind.  Those were the hardest and darkest days of my life. I've had many other challenges throughout the years, as we all have, but those were the worst ones to me. I felt alone.  The Patty Hearst kidnapping was a regular on the news at the time, while my life was going on without me.  As hard as I tried, as much as I prayed, I just could not get better.


I never talk about these days.  I just don't.  Ask me about any other time of my life and I can pretty much be an open book.


So I was able to get married to a dear sweet, very patient man in Dec. 1974.  I still struggled with health issues and weakness.  I was certainly stronger than I had been but not the same as before my illness, not at all.  Three years exactly to the day from when I was admitted to the hospital for mono, I was admitted back to give birth to my first son. The happiest day of my life was when I became a mother.


I had to continually pace myself.  I wore out easily.  Pregnancies and raising babies and toddlers took their daily toll on me.  But I was so very happy, pushing through the days best I could.  Many days I did not do so well so my ever loving Mom would often come to our rescue with casseroles, picking up after my toddlers, stopping by to wash dishes, helping me with grocery shopping.  Sort of the best of times/the worst of times.


But I was there.  And for that I am grateful, and always will be.


When my first 2 sons were near 2 and 4 years old I thought we could spend a week up at Family Camp.  That is what I had always done as a child and I wanted my sons to have the same great experience.  The first day I was fine, but by day #2, I could hardly get out of bed.  The shortness of breath returned.  I was weak and sick.  Too short of breath to eat much.  It just took too much strength.  Many around me suggested I had altitude sickness and I would adjust.  Made sense to me, and I didn't want to go home thinking surely I would get better by the next day.  But instead, each day I became worse. I was miserable.  No matter what I did, lie down, sit up, try to walk, eat...I was continually short of breath and my chest hurt.  Finally on day #5 we all gave up and went home.  


It took me about a month to recover from that camping adventure, but slowly I did.


I was on a mission to find out what was wrong with me and what I could do about it.  I was diagnosed with everything from mitral valve prolapse, to a heart murmur to lung damage to an enlarged heart to hypoglycemia.  One doctor would say one thing, then the next something else.  I had been told more than once,  "Although it is rare, some people are never the same again after having mono."


I tried St George, the mountains around here, and a few other higher altitude trips, all with the same results.  I seem to be able to go up about 2200 feet, but anymore than that and I have symptoms.


As for my regular life when I was in my 20s and 30s, I rarely felt great, but I learned to settle for somewhat okay.  I learned to settle for being thankful I was alive and able to raise my sons.  No one loved them more than their Dad and I did.  No one wanted more what was best for them than we did.  So my heart was filled with gratitude for just being able to be with them, and guide them through life.  I learned what a sacred privilege this was.


We had lots of fun times together, at least that is the way I remember their childhoods.  Lots of music, art projects, making cookies, running around the house and playing outside with the neighbors. Of course that's a pale summary.


When McKay was 9 months old we decided to take all 3 boys to Arizona to see my husband's family.  Bill was worried about traveling the long distance with McKay since he had an unpredictable heart rhythm problem (which by the way was surgically corrected when he was 9).  So the plan was he would drive with Brock, age 7 while Logan age 5, and baby McKay and I would go by plane.  I had never been on  a plane before and it sounded like a wonderful idea to me!  


Before we even took off I became very symptomatic with shortness of breath, and extreme weakness.  No one told me the plane is pressurized at about 7000 feet.  I could not figure out at all why I was feeling so bad before the plane even left the ground.  My saving grace was an older gentlemen sitting near by who helped me with my baby, while Logan entertained himself by looking out the window and saying things like,  "I think I just saw Heavenly Father and Jesus." 


When I gave birth to my 4th son I thought I would like to try an epidural, after 3 natural childbirths.  I had heard great things about epidurals, they were just becoming popular. I was dilated to an 8 by the time we arrived at the hospital that very foggy morning in December of 1985.  I was given the epidural and immediately that horrible shortness of breath returned.  Suddenly I felt I was back at Family Camp 6500 feet up.  It was a crushing feeling...like I was dying.  I told the midwife to remove it.  She said, "But not now, you are in transition."  I said with all the strength I had (which wasn't much),  "Remove it!!"  So they called the anesthesiologist back in and it was turned off.  The pain came back with a vengeance but that was much better than not being able to breath.


What an epidural has to do with having high altitude symptoms I don't know. But whatever altitude does to me, epidurals do the same.


I feel like this is becoming a medical journal, but I want to explain.


Fast forward 13 years later.  My first husband had been dead 2 years when I met Dennis.  When our dating turned serious, he naturally wanted me to meet his children.  His youngest was still on his mission but his other 3 lived in Utah.


It had been several years since the disastrous Family Camp experience, and 13 years since the epidural, or 'twin-symptom experience.'


So through much prayer, and armed with prescribed altitude meds, and oxygen for the flight there, I was ready to try again.  My worried Mom asked me,  "So if you have a bad experience in Utah does this mean Dennis breaks up with you?"  Good question.  I didn't know.  But I guessed it would be a test for both of us.


And it was.


Even with prescribed oxygen on the plane, the total misery returned.  Like an old friend I did not like at all was back.  I had no strength in me to even talk.  I just kept thinking...just live through this.


We landed in Salt Lake City, and arrived at a good friend's house for dinner, and then as Den checked into a near by hotel, I spent the night with my friend and her family.  I was so happy. I felt great.  All that worry for nothing, or so I thought.  I could breath just fine. I could even walk and talk at the same time.  So I went to sleep with great plans for the next day.


The next morning was not as good but I still wanted to go see Temple Square and other places I had only read about.  We went to lunch and to the mall but I was dragging.  I got so bad that Den had to get me a wheel chair in the mall.  I felt sort of like Cinderella.  Like it was midnight and my carriage was turning into mice.  My glorious day was fading quickly away.


Still I was determined and anxious to meet his children so we went on up to Logan the next day. Long story short, I ended up at the ER at Logan hospital.  I was given more oxygen and told by the dr there, "If you are not better in the morning, go home and don't come back." 


I met Den's children for the very first time on oxygen.  I will never forget how sweet and welcoming they were to me.  


So about 10 months ago when McKay told me the girl he met the day before "is really cute and from Montana", I said,  "Oh."  When he said her name was McKenna, I said,  "Oh no."  I couldn't help but think those names were a matched set, although I didn't tell McKay that at the time.


I knew what "Montana" meant.  McKay knew what it meant.  Still, I had this feeling...


I didn't know McKenna then. I hadn't met her yet, so all I was focusing on, was where she lived.  


I had missed much of McKay and Tyler's life in Utah....I have never been to their apartments, I have not met their friends there, and I missed McKay and Karen's graduations from BYU.  How I would love to watch McKay teach math as part of being a grad student now.


But we all have sacrifices we have to make.  I know not one person who has everything they want.  I've learned the trick to joy in life is to be happy with what we do have.  Still, it's hard.


McKenna and her family really tried to move the wedding to California but that would mean her siblings would not be able to come out this far.  So McKay made the decision to have the wedding in the Billings temple.


So tomorrow while McKay and McKenna are taking their vows in Billings, I will be in the temple here, along with 2 of my precious daughters in law, Erin and Amy.  To me, I know being in the temple tomorrow, here,  at the same time they are getting married there, will bring me close in spirit to them both. 


I'm not going to pretend the past few weeks anticipating this have been easy.  Because they haven't been.  But still, I am very very happy for both McKay and McKenna. She has sweetness written all over her.  She's a doll, and they are so in love. 


And I will be anxiously waiting for pictures. 

Google Reader

I need some advice.

I've seen some very moody posts on Google.  Obviously someone was mad or upset when they wrote them.  Later I can tell they've change their mind because when I attempt to comment on their actual blog, the post has disappeared...yet, it's still on Google Reader for all to see!


So here is my big question, and the only reason I don't have my blog on Google Reader:  
Tell me if I'm wrong, but the way I understand it....if I write a blog post and then press "publish post"...but then later decide I want to pull that post off, I can't...Is this correct??



I can take it off my actual blog, but it will still remain on Google Reader once I post it, right?  OR does this only happen because people do not know how to delete a post from Google Reader??
Does anyone know?

Update on Amy and Logan's family

Look at Laurynn jump!  She is really good at this.
Just a  10 second clip.




Also, thanks to Allyson, I have a picture of Chandler getting his Tenderfoot award!
 AND, Kylie got glasses!

And not only that, but Chandler got glasses too!

Elora worrying about her friend.

I was introducing her to my favorite childhood movie, "Pollyanna"

While I was driving her to my house after school on Wednesday, she started by telling me about her little friend Nebula.

Elora:  "Nebula had to go to the eye doctor today.  She has a problem.  Every time she blinks her eyes her glasses fall off."

Grandma Honey: "Why would blinking make her glasses fall off?"

"Because her eyes are very very pale."

(Oh of course, that explains it.)

"I think the doctor is going to tell her that she needs someone to just hold her hand really tight and that will make her glasses stay on."

"Why would that help?"

completely ignoring my question continuing....
"If Alexandria holds her hand she will hold it too tight.  Victoria will be too embarrassed to hold her hand   And Izzy will hold her hand too softly.  But I will hold her hand just right."

"Oh, This sounds like The Three Bears"

"No, it doesn't.  There are 4 girls in this story." 

I was Elora's same age, SEVEN, when I ..........
Don't you just love the way Johnny was smiling in this picture?  Sorry Richard got cut off.  And sorry I was taking over the picture. 

Okay, here goes. 
I told my friends that I was not afraid to walk right into the boys' bathroom at school.
And I did.
I walked right in while they watched from outside, and the yard duty teacher walked in right after me with her whistle.
I was only 7 but I could re-enact the whole scene today. It is that imprinted in my memory.
It was such a horror from my childhood, that I can still picture the sandy blond bouffant hairdo of that yard teacher. 
Some memories never leave us alone. 

What goes around, comes around

While looking through 1973 pictures for my last post, I also found these:

Life is so interesting the way it turns out.
My brother Richard and his friend Steve in 1973, with my Mom.
December 22, 1973
So here we are 37 years later and
In less than 3 months, Richard's nephew will marry Steve's daughter.  Who would have thought back then.


I took this video last December.
McKay, Katie Cleveland, and Jake

My sons' parents

McKay asked me to put this picture on my blog.  


It was taken the summer of 1973.  Before we were married.


This picture always bothered me because you could see through my blouse.  
I didn't know my blouse was like that until I saw it in a picture, and then I threw the blouse away.  


But I finally found a way to edit it, so here is is:
  This reminds of that summer of 1973.
Bill and I use to sit in his little orange convertible in front of my house because we had the hardest time saying goodbye each night.
This was 'our song.' He would often sing it to me under the dark sky:
(which I thought of having someone sing at his funeral, but that day was hard enough as it was)

Go to 5:24 for the song 

This is the way I was raised

I can remember my Dad waving and smiling to people who would cut him off on the freeway.
I can remember my Mom pointing out all the good in someone who had hurt me.




When I was a little kid I couldn't figure out why the Golden Rule didn't just say,  "Do unto others as they have done unto you."  That just seemed more fair to me.  Boy, did I ever have a lot to learn!

Well that's one way to clean the fridge!

Amy said,  "I couldn't make them stop because they were having such a good time." 




He looked sick

So yesterday before seeing The Last Song, we stopped at Subway to pick up 2 sandwiches to go with our bottled water.  We like to sit on the very top seats at the theater and eat our dinner.

It would have been rude to take pictures, but the guy making our sandwiches did not look very well.  Glassy eyes, flushed face, and not very happy.  He was wearing gloves, but still, sort of gave me the creeps that he was the one making our food.

If Dennis had not been with me I would have told the sandwich maker he didn't look well and needed to go home.  But that sort of thing really embarrasses Den, so I kept quiet.  (Den thanked me later)

So as soon as we get out of there I ask Den to take me to the next Subway.  He says,  "All the people in Subway look like that."  I told him that no, I didn't think so.  Please keep driving.

He waited in the car while I hurried in and had the next Subway make me a quick sandwich. again.  Den insisted the one made by the sick guy, was good enough for him.

So here's my question, and I really want to know.
If someone looking ill was making your sandwich what would you have done?

And don't worry.
You aren't settling any kind of argument between me and my husband.
We don't argue, and besides, he loves me just the way I am.
Amazing, I know.

The Last Song

Have you seen this movie?

We just did. 
Wondering if anyone feels the way I did about it.

So we walk in, sit down and Den says,  "I am the only male here. 
What kind of movie is this anyway?" 
I said,  "I really don't know. I just read that if you feel like crying, this is the movie to go to."
Good thing I couldn't see his face. It was dark in there.

I liked it.
However, it sort of dragged along about this teenage fluffy no substance romance. 
It was nearly half over when Den leans over and says,  "Where are we going with this?"
I had a hard time getting past the fact that Miley Cyrus' boyfriend in the movie looked nearly identical to Brad Kennington (my son Logan's friend). 
That's all I could see. 
I can't even remember his name. 
When Den and I talk about the movie we just call him Brad.
Really, they looked that much alike. 
Both very good looking. 

And the guy who played the father...he reminded me so much of Verne Woolley (my DIL Amy's Dad)
We just call him Verne. 
Obvious we don't go to movies very often.
When you get as old as we are, I guess most people look like someone else.

So I didn't know the movie was about dying. 
Watching that little boy about to lose his Dad was brutal. 
I sat there in that theater feeling so grateful that when my sons' Dad died they didn't know it was going to happen.
It just happened and he was gone.
As horrific as that was, I think knowing before would have been worse. 

So if I ever felt bad that my boys didn't get to say goodbye to their Dad, this movie cured me of that. 

It didn't affect Den the same way.  He leaned over and said,  "She needs braces." (Mylie Cyrus)

We got in the car and I told Den I enjoyed the movie. 
I like watching emotion. 
I like watching relationships. 
He said,  "As long as my wife is happy." 
No, I said, I really want to know what he thought of it.
So then he says,  "It was all about a spoiled brat who thinks the world revolves around her
and cares more about baby turtles than the people around her." 

And then he added,  "You would think she could at least get some Invisaligns for her teeth." 
I think her crooked tooth is cute. 

If you saw it, what did you think?  

2 little kids

Don't they look like a match?
McKenna                                                                                                                                         McKay





















Just 15 days to go!

Naming a baby was not easy for me

 Logan holding McKay
1984

Last Friday Den and I went to downtown Fresno to get McKay's birth certificate, so he and McKenna could get a marriage license.  That's a must for Montana.

Wish I had my camera with me because oh what an historical building.  So after waiting in the short line I went up to the counter and requested my son's birth certificate.  She searched on her computer, the screen in view to me, and said,  "No...there is no McKay.  Just Brock, Logan, and Tyler.  Could there have been an adoption?"

Just hearing her say that made me want to say,  "NO, I did not adopt him out!"  Instead I calmly said,  "No" 

"Well there is no McKay."  

I gave birth to him just a few blocks from this building. I know I did.  And I raised him.  He's been gone for 7 years, but I am still his mother and I know I did raise him.  But I did not say this.
Instead I said,  "Well he's on there somewhere."  

So she put in a search under my name.  Being I'm the mother and all.  Good choice.
Then I heard her say,  "Oh I see what happened."  

Good, she found him.

"He is listed here as the first name, "Mc"   Oh and here's his middle name,  "KayNathan"

I asked if she could please change the computer to "McKay Nathan"  She said she didn't know how.  I must have looked worried because later as I was leaving she said she would have her supervisor take care of it. (I'll never know if she did.)

Then she says to me, (and this is the embarrassing part), "Oh look at this...a 2 part birth certificate."  Like she had never seen one before.  I explained that it took me a few months to name him so I had to file an amendment to the original.   
"Well isn't this interesting," she said.  I really did not think it was such a rare thing. Or maybe it was her first day on the job.

I thought back to the morning after McKay was born.  The pediatrician came in and asked for the baby's name.  I said I didn't know yet.  He said,  "Didn't you know you were pregnant?"

I absolutely loved the name McKay back in 1984, but it was practically unheard of.  I didn't want to name him something odd, not knowing it would become popular later.
The other 2 names we were considering:
Adam
Chad

The bigger truth is, I hadn't named Logan yet.  And he was 5.  I didn't think it right that his baby brother would get a name before he did.

Apparently I'm a conservative decision maker.

However, I admit I was relieved when just a year later, and just a week after another positive pregnancy test, I remember exactly where I was sitting in our family room, when I had the sudden thought come over me,  "It's another boy and his name is Tyler Matthew."  I never looked back.  I knew, and it felt good to know.

Back to McKay's name.  And now, 26 years later, and I realize it would just not be the same if it were McKenna and Adam.
Or McKenna and Chad.


McKenna and McKay

Before my first Mother's Day

Yesterday I was thinking back to when I was pregnant with my first son.
These were taken at my baby shower.
You may (depending on who you are of course) recognize a few of the people in these photos.

This is back a few years. December 2, 1976:


My Mom to the left of course, and then to the right is Debbie Freeman who was
Debbie Findlay back then....I was her Beehive advisor at church a few years before this.
Interestingly, here we are 34 years later and I've asked Debbie's daughter Stacey,
to come talk to our Young Women about temple marriage tomorrow night. 


Just past my stomach is Nancy Hix (I took care of her baby Kari for nearly 2 years and we loved her dearly....I have since lost touch.
I would love to see Kari as an adult since she would be about 35 now!...but have not been able to find her)
Then my Grandma Slinkard, my mom, and my sister in law Wendy Rozier.


Sonja Kland..she was and still is always at the important moments in my life.
I learned so much from her growing up. 
Definitely one of my greatest role models.
Then Tammy Emler, who grew up across the street, 
and my sister Peggy who does not look too happy there for some reason.

Don't know what to say about this picture.  
I hope this was at the end of the evening when most everyone was gone.
I gained 50 lbs with this pregnancy!

Karen Emler who hosted this shower. 
I really don't think I was trying to hide my face.
Back then it took a few weeks to have our pictures processed.
We had no idea until then what we got.

Terri Emler and Sonja looking on.  
The profile right by my hand is Carol Wengel...she was my visiting teaching partner back then.
We still keep in touch with Christmas cards each year. 
I wish I had a picture of everyone who attended that evening nearly 33 years ago.

But what I was really thinking about yesterday besides my wonderful children who treated me so well....was my Mom.
I miss her more, not less, with each passing year.
I was also thinking about the post on last Mother's Day.

Our little tutu girl is walking!

She's practicing her walking, and her new word. 

Things aren't always as they appear

Hold on, let me explain.


Being Wednesday and all, I picked up Elora from school today.  
After explaining to her friend Victoria that her Grandma Honey goes crazy with the camera....

They both headed for the tree together, Victoria leading the way. 
Until a bystander child told them it was against the school rules for them to be climbing. 
At that announcement, they practically flew out of the tree.  

On our way to the mall to find gifts for 5 upcoming birthdays...
Elora and I had this conversation in the car.

Elora:  "I think I know how Victoria got her name."

"Really?  Tell me."

"Well, I think her Mom was shopping at Victoria's Secret when she was pregnant.  Then suddenly she felt a pain and I think she fell to the ground and gave birth to her baby on the floor.  The manager probably came running over to ask what the baby's name was and she said,  "I'm going to name her Victoria since she was born in your store." 

"Oh wow."

"I think the manager was just so happy the baby was named after their store that he gave Victoria's mother a very expensive, electric massager." 

"Well how about that!"

"But when we get to the mall, I don't want to go into Victoria's Secret because it's a baby store.  It has very little clothes in there for small children and babies."
I think Elora was trying to figure out just what kind of store it was...she just knew she wanted no part of it. 

"Okay, we'll keep our distance. "

Marriage, or ones that don't make it

I have not read this book:

So I can't comment on it.


However, today I found a list of things, taken from this book, that correlate with divorce:



Your parents are divorced
You are alcoholic
You are mentally ill
You cheat on your spouse
You gamble compulsively
You are violent
You are younger than 25
You have not gone to college (especially the woman)
You have children
You lived with your spouse before marriage
You have different racial backgrounds
You are different ages
You have different religions
You have different ethnic backgrounds
You have different cultural backgrounds
You have different careers
You don’t know your neighbors
You don’t belong to social clubs
You don’t live near your families
You are not religious
The man does not do housework


So, I am intrigued by #9.  Does this mean a marriage is more likely to survive if they do not have children?  
That one doesn't make sense to me.


And how about #16.  How many couples do you know who share the same career??   

BTW, I found this on my friend Darlene's son's blog,
who is in grad school to become a marriage and family therapist.  

Missing a few hairs

 Yesterday after church Dennis reached into his suit pocket and gave me this.
 
He said he meant to give it to me the day he got home from Utah.
Katie drew a picture of herself with Grandpa.
Her brother Jacob informed her that she forgot to include the few hairs he has on top of his head!  


I told Den when we were dating that I love his head.  I still do.  
Sometimes he will look at pictures I take and he will say,  "That picture makes me look bald."   
Well honey, you are.  And you are perfect.

Around the dinner table

So I would not be so lonely without Dennis last Sunday, Amy and Logan invited me over for dinner.
I got to watch as they asked their nightly question.
I think this is such a great idea.



Here's where she gets her questions, but you certainly could make up your own.

And now, for a few recent pictures:


All ready for the Taylor Swift concert!

Look what happened last night

  Just a little pre-graduating gathering for our DIL Amy.... Not everyday a Mom of 7 and a Grandma of 7, graduates from college. It was not ...