Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Mommy of his boyhood

I had been reading the book above, and then stopped. Dennis had been curious about it, so he was reading it also. He gave it up, too. Was it really NECESSARY for the author to use the language she did?? Granted, it could have been a lot worse, and there were probably only a handful of ugly words, but I've lost my tolerance for them.

Life is too short for words like that to be swimming around in my brain.

HOW DID WE ALL SURVIVE HIGH SCHOOL?! Profanity was going off all around us, all the time. Same, or probably worse, when my sons were attending high school.

Before I ditched the book, aside from some of the language however, I was enjoying it, and relating to much of it. The subtitle above the title reads:

"An Almost Completely Honest Account of What Happened to Our Family When Our Youngest Son, His Wife, Their Baby, Their Toddler, and Their Five Year Old Came to Live With Us for Three Months."

So much of this I could relate to. When they are back under our roof, I turn into the "Mommy of their boyhood" as the author states.
I can't help it.

This book made me realize that it's just not me. So for that, it felt liberating.

Read Page 9:

In spite of myself going into the worry mode when my boys come home for's worth it! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when my children come to see us. Those are SWEET times, CHERISHED times....the ones who live in town, or the ones who come from out of town.

For those of you who have adult children coming home to visit and you don't have a guest room for about buying this sofa that converts into bunk beds?
(just kidding :)


tyler said...

Yeah, that paragraph sounds like you, Mom. But that's okay, because that's why we love you--you're Mom.

Jill said...

Well thank you Tyler! I love you, too.

Susan and Dad said...

I remember being offended (or irritated) when my mom would say to me, "Lock the doors in your car when you travel." I was in my 50s and 60s. Did she think I didn't have a brain to think for myself? So, being sensitive to my reaction to her mothering, I try to limit my comments to my kids to, "Drive safely." I think we need to give them some credit. When I had adult kids living at home with me however, I did appreciate knowing what their plans were, etc. That's only common courtesy. Love, Susan

Jill said...

I so agree with you Susan. I realize the problem lies within me, not them. I have a hard time turning off the worry button when they are home. It's strange how that works because when they are not here I have total confidence in them and don't worry...but when they come home I go right back into that "Mommy of their boyhood". I was glad that book put a label on this. :)

nrozier said...

I actually think that sofa is pretty cool! Shelterrific is one of my favorite websites. Jill if you enjoy that site you should also try;; and

Rebecca said...

For the whole two years my boys were on their missions, I never worried, now at BYU, I don't worry, but why, oh why,when they come home for a visit, and are out for the evening, I worry, where are they, when will they be back, how are they, are they ok? Go figure. I just thought it was out of sight, out of mind, but this makes sense! Funny. Oh, and until the day my Dad died, 5 years ago, when I drove with him, he would say things like, "ok, slow down we are coming to a light", or be careful, there is a curve, etc. So funny, as if I had not been driving for 30 years!

Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
darlene said...

I make a heroic attempt to bite my tongue when my sons are home for the holidays. The only time I ask them when they will be back is if it affects my plans in some way. I have gotten really good at not worrying when they are home. But, my oldest is 37! I think he can safely be called an adult now! I try to remember the Golden Rule. Would I want my sons to be hovering over me or worrying about me when we are together? No way! Do I want my sons to share what's going on in their lives with me? Then I'd better keep my mouth shut and just keep smiling!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, my dear CA friend!!! Thank you tenfold for this info; it brought tears to my eyes(at the public library computer of all places)because I am the same way. A big difference is, my children live within one mile of my home and I see them constantly. So the 'mothering' never seems to end.
Since I am now an orphan, I would relish the chance again to have my parents 'worry' about me.

Lisa said...

That sofa bed is really cool! Have to hand to you Jill-I enjoy your insights to motherhood and all the other things that come into your mind.