Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Long ago and far away....
or rather long ago and right here...
we would often have the pleasure of Jenny Pauline in our home.
We love her, we all love her. She was especially close to my oldest son Brock, but she was close to all of us. Jenny would often come over to take a nap here, right on our family room couch. She would eat with us, talk to us, even clean my kitchen, and always, always, get us all laughing.

This is about 1994.
Jenny came over so we could take pictures of her before the prom.
And yes, she went to the prom that year with her brother Robby.
See little Tyler, Logan, and McKay wrapped in a blanket...not sure what that was about.

Well tonight Jenny came back over for dinner and brought her 16 month old son Phoenix!!
We hadn't seen him since last summer when he was a little baby. Now he looks like his Mom and his grandma Dee dee who passed away in 2003. Oh how we all miss her.

Of course none of us knew what the next years would bring.
Here I am with Phoenix's Grandma Dee dee in 1997,
the year after Brock's Dad died.

Phoenix, Jenny, Cami, and Elora
Incredible how the years fly by.
Jenny and Brock use to talk about how it would be
when they both had children.
Well here we are....Jenny's son, and Brock and Erin's daughters.

Phoenix and Elora

The Phoenix and Elora show

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A stranger at the door?

Okay, so last night we were just getting ready for dinner and the door bell rang. I love drop in company, but usually this is not the time of day someone just drops in. So as usual, both Dennis and I go to the door to see who it is. I look outside and see some very unknown creature and tell Den, "Don't open the door. I think it is a salesman. I can see him holding something in his hand." Okay, yes I am paranoid about strangers at my door. So of course Den opens the door anyway, and this is what we saw:
The sun was blinding my eyes. He looked like a space creature at first.

Turns out it was LOGAN!!!

He came by to eat his sandwich on the way to work, and show us his new motor scooter:This is his answer to the gas crisis.
I had told him before that he is 30 times more likely to get in a bad accident riding a motorcycle versus a car. (I learned this from Dr. Laura.) He tells me that motor scooters are safer than motorcycles. I don't know how that would be. But we all know I am no longer in control of his life.

As he was leaving he said, "I know, I know, I'm 30% more likely to get in a bad accident." (not that I had brought that up during this visit)
I hugged him goodbye and he left.
It was after he left that I thought....No, No, not 30%...that would be just 1/3 more likely. Dr. Laura said it is 30 TIMES more likely! I will try to forget that. It's called adult children and survival of their parents.

Monday, July 28, 2008

A phone message

Den and I came home tonight to this message on our phone,
from our 5 1/2 year old granddaughter:

In case you can't quite make it out, this is what she says:
"Hi Grandma Honey, it's me Elora
Today my tooth just came out
and it was very exciting
and we just put it in my tooth fairy pillow
and I like having my tooth out,

I felt like jumping up and down and screaming. I was just soooooooo excited.
Why? I don't quite understand it myself.
Probably for the same reason I jumped up and down and screamed the day her Daddy lost his first tooth.


I wish I had a video of the day our granddaughters saw their little sister and cousin Rachel on the computer. The 3 girls, Jessica, Katie, and Emily were all staying with us while their parents were in Hawaii. So we went on the computer to check the blog of another relative who were caring for almost 2 year old Rachel. As soon as the girls saw Rachel's picture they all squealed and said, "Rachie!!!!!!!!!!"
They missed her so, and it was so fun watching their reaction.

Well TODAY Rachel turns TWO!!!!

We have this first picture as the wallpaper on our computer:

Rachel leading the pack.
Dad Mike, Mom Kris, Jesscia, Jacob, Katie, and Rachel

Here are a few more treasured pictures of Rachel:

We know she will have a very Happy Birthday. Her family will see to that!
We will be looking for pictures of her special day!! (hint hint)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Our visitor for the week

Den went to Temple City this past Monday and picked up his mother. She is 81 and lives in a home there. We like to bring her here for a week each year. She is truly such a delight. So cheerful and laughs at just about anything. She does beautiful handiwork and look what she made me this time:
Matching pillow cases. I picture her working on these for hours and hours in her little room at the facility she lives in. She didn't make the little sockies but I love those too. She is so thoughtful.

We have tried to keep her routine up this week, the one she's use to.
It's very simple:
Toast, coffee and Grapenuts for breakfast
Her morning walk to Roberts Avenue
10am: The Price is Right
noon: Dennis comes home for lunch and we eat together
3pm: Dr. Phil
5:30 dinner
7:00 Jeopardy
7:30 Wheel of Fortune
9pm or so: bedtime

In between times she likes to read and do her stitchery.

What I want to know is, when did Dr. Phil turn into Jerry Springer? It has been a long while since I watched Dr Phil but didn't he use to have normal people on this program?

Yesterday she took a little side road to her schedule and spent 20 minutes in the sun trying to get a tan on her legs. I think she wants the others at the home to notice she has been on vacation. So cute!

We have taken her out each evening.
Last night we all went to see Music Man.
We saw Kit Kittredge on Tuesday evening. I'm not sure that was the best choice. It was set in the depression which was essentially her childhood. I thought she would relate. Well I think she related a little too much. Her father left the family when she was only 3, never to be seen again.

Notice Den carrying my purse
What a man!

Wednesday night it was out for Mexican food which she loves.
We are driving her home on Saturday morning. We will surely miss her. I love being around her and having her with us. It's no wonder Dennis is such a sweet man.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Commercial for having children

I was boderline shocked they show this video in Germany on TV. It's like they are advertising having more children. I found it very heart warming at the same time. At least there is one country who wants us to have more children. Of course I think they want them all to live in Germany.

See this video

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Our unusual friendship

I have a very dear friend Pam, in Addison, Michigan and it's her birthday today!
Our meeting, or rather our lack of meeting, is the unusual part. We began writing letters back in 1973....or was it 1972? I'm not exactly sure, but about 35 years ago. She was already married with one little baby boy. I was still single but I may have been engaged. If not, I became engaged shortly after those first letters began going back and forth across the US.

We shared everything through letters, and occasional phone calls....our pregnancies, raising babies, then raising children and adult children, and now we both have grandchildren. Pam is such a loyal, good friend. It does not feel at all like we have not met in person. Our lives are so intertwined. She is family to me. She even reads The Rozier Times. She requests it!

Pam with her grandson Gavin
Pam is very tender hearted. She will keep track of my life sometimes better than I do. Through good times and hard times, she is always right there sending cards and notes and expressing her concern, or celebrating our joys. A true friend in every sense of the word.

Happy Birthday Pam!!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Lovely Downtown Fresno

I went to my very first retirement dinner last Saturday evening. One of Den's co workers, who works at the Medical Board with him, was celebrating the end of his cop-detective career. I was happy to be included. However, I was not that thrilled when I found out the location of this dinner. Imagine how I felt when we drove up and saw this:

Truthfully, this picture looks much better than it really did.
At least we didn't have to eat in the building across the street:

And, yes, those are broken out windows you see.
(Shot out windows, is my guess.)
We walked right into the bar where all of Den's fellow workers were enjoying themselves. His secretary suggested we order a soda. Nope, we did not feel comfortable sitting around the bar. So we went into the room ready and waiting for the big event:
Lovely decor. I had to take an upclose picture of the flooring:
And I thought, are we really going to eat here?? Remember, I am the one who brings my own water with me when we eat out. This time I wished I had brought my own food.

I looked up at the wall and saw a painting of this restaurant. This was obviously created in happier looking days. Or perhaps it was just someone's wishful thinking. It surely does not look any thing like this now.
The food was better than we thought it would be, and very interesting. An odd combination of food all at the same meal:
soup (broth with pasta...that's it)
salad with Italian dressing
potato salad
garbanzo beans
beef stew
roasted chicken
ice cream

Turned out to be an interesting evening. It was fun to be able to put faces with so many names Den has talked about. I don't know how old this Basque Restaurant is, but it looks like it was decorated in the 50s, and hasn't been touched since, including the floor.

I looked up the reviews on Google once we got home and someone noted that this may not be a safe place to be after dark. I can't imagine any time of day feeling safe here. Even Dennis was happy to get into the car and on our way home.

Memorial service update

This is subject to change, but as it is now, we are planning to have Chris' Memorial service on the morning of August 19th in Fresno, at the Peach and Nees building. We are waiting to get him back from Thailand. We are hoping Aug 19th is a far enough date out for this to happen.

I would like to share part of an email from one of Chris' very close friends, Berrett Rice. He wrote this 2 days after we learned of Chris' death.

"........ We camped together in Colorado for a month straight, and we had nothing to do while we were there except fish, hike, cook, and take care of camp. During that time, I was never bored for a single second, and I laughed insanely every single day of the trip. His sense of humor was so unique, and personal. There's absolutely no one like him in this respect, and I will miss this more than anything. The good news is that so much of our communication over the last 15 years has been electronic, so I still have a lot of great comedy that I can revisit whenever I want.

His next greatest quality is his ability to converse in an interesting, engaging, challenging, and sometimes infuriating way. Partly because he had no respect for the normal rules of conversational etiquette, Chris was able to challenge my thoughts as well as anyone. But he wasn't just challenging, he was also just fun to talk to. We used to drive from Provo to Fresno together two or three times a year, and I often remember commenting how strange it was that we would talk 100% of the trip! I don't think I can do that even with my own wife! But with Chris the conversation never stopped. He could talk about music, movies, politics, science, books, arm-chair philosophy, popular culture, and many obscure topics too. He was so insightful, intelligent, and "fresh". I could talk to Chris forever.

Another great quality, at least in the happier years when we were in college, was that he was always up for an adventure. Always. I could say, "Let's go play some tennis" and he would stand up and grab his racquet. Equally, someone could say, "Let's go camping in southern Utah for a few days" and he would jump right on it. No excuses and very little hesitation. The only exception to this rule is that sometimes his insomnia or back pain would get in the way. But generally speaking he was up for fun at any moment.....

.....I loved the way he was, even with his occasional surliness. I could handle that part of him in exchange for all of the wonderful experiences and the unparalleled laughter. The truth is, even with the surliness, I got along better and more easily with Chris than with all but a few people I've ever known. I suppose we were a good match because I wasn't offended by him, and he may have been mildly civilized by me. I don't know if that's true. I just know that I loved him and all the way up to an hour before he killed himself, he was a huge part of my life.

Tina made an interesting observation yesterday: She was remembering when Chris, she, and I were headed to the dollar movies to see a movie one night (I think Paul may have been there too). We pulled up to an intersection and stopped at the red light. Without warning Chris said something like, "I don't really want to see this movie". He opened the door to the car, said "See you guys", and walked away. It was shockingly quick! We didn't even have a chance to respond before he was gone. He used to do this in our apartment in Salt Lake too. It would be 2 AM and we would be in the middle of a sentence when he would announce, "I'm tired, I've got to get out of here", then he would disappear out the door before we could even process the sentence. I've thought this was a particularly hilarious and lovable quality of his.

Well, Tina's observation is that this is exactly what happened again two days ago. A quick email, and he's gone. We had no opportunity to even respond.

I'm so incredibly sorry that he's gone. I will miss him dearly. I already do. This is the first time in memory for me that he hasn't been "out there" in my life. I don't particularly like it this way.

That's about it. Rest in peace, my brother. I sincerely hope things are better for you now and that both the physical and emotional pain are gone for you. I also hope we'll see each other again in a context that will allow us to almost throw up from laughing so hard about some stupid joke or some old memory...."

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Video tribute to Chris

One of Chris' very close friends, Berrett Rice, sent me this video he made of Chris today. Berrett has been a real blessing to me, and to my family. We have been emailing back and forth since we received that suicide email from Chris last Tuesday evening.

Take a look at this. It was hard to watch but also very comforting at the same time, just to be able to see him again.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Memories of Chris

I was told these were taken about 2003ish.
Chris' friends were so kind to send these to me this week.
Below, he is with Berrett Rice and David Stark.

I found this paper in one of my Mom's books.
He wrote these poems when he was 14.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Chris' life according to me

The way I remembered it, when Chris was about 18, his life took a different path. He became involved with substance abuse. My first 2 sons, Brock and Logan, adored their Uncle Chris. However, once Chris turned to drugs and alcohol, the fiercely protective mother that I was, began to withdraw my sons from him. The real Chris became hidden. The substance took over. I no longer trusted him. Brock and Logan were about 6 and 8 by this time and I no longer wanted Chris influencing them. Chris without the drugs, yes...but not Chris with the drugs. This is who he became to us.

I regret that I did not know Chris in his adult life. Do I feel guilty about this? Yes. Do I wish I could go back and change things? I do...especially this week.

I didn't want him influencing my very impressionable boys. They looked up to him. So I pulled them away. We became outsiders to his life, barely looking in.

Chris loved children and I know he looked forward to having his own someday. That never happened. He was so controlled all of his adult life by drugs and alcohol.

There is a paragraph that I quoted in a recent post on this blog from CS Lewis, "You understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping. You can see mistakes in arithmetic when your mind is working properly: while you are making them you cannot see them. You can understand the nature of drunkenness when you are sober, not when you are drunk..."

I believe that Chris could not "see" what he was doing. The past over 20 years of his life he was so very controlled by the substance. He lost the power he was born with to control his life. What started out as his agency to choose, became his bondage.

In his suicide letter he left on email to a select few people, one of them being our father, he stated, "...If I had a wife, children, or somebody that greatly depended on me, I would never consider this. And if my mother were still alive, I don't think I could do this..."

He felt no one needed him. His wife left him, he did not have children, and his mother was dead.

On one occasion after his wife Jenny left him, Chris and I had a lengthy talk one evening over the phone. The extreme depression he felt was evident. He admitted to me that his marriage had no way to survive because, in his words, "We didn't have religion to keep us together. We didn't have children. We had nothing to bind us. She had no reason to stay." I remember thinking at the time...'he built his home on sand.'

He had no hope because he had lost control. After years and years of being controlled by an outside substance, he gave up.

I've always loved my little brother, and I always will. I was 13 when he was born so I have many fond memories of him as a baby and a little boy. He was very adored by all of us. He was and is my parents' baby. If they were guilty of anything, it was indulging him. What parent doesn't?

One particular incidence stands out in my mind. Basically this is how I remember it. Chris was young, somewhere in elementary school age. My mom had him with her when she was banking one day. On their way home Mom realized she was given too much money by the teller. She told Chris this and explained how they needed to go back to the bank and return the money. Chris obviously remembered the good feeling in doing this, because on another later errand occasion with our Mom, he said, "I hope they give us too much money at the bank so we can take it back to them again."

Chris was raised with goodness. He knew what goodness was. And somewhere in the adult Chris, the goodness was still there. He had a hand written note in the pocket of his pants when he died. It stated, "...You have my permission to make use of my organs for somebody in need..."

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Christopher Kerry Rozier

May 30, 1967-July 16, 2008

My Parents' Baby.

Thank you so much for all the very nice comments.
We really appreciate your prayers.
We are all doing fine, just trying to absorb all of this.

1970, age 3

We learned that it will be at least 2-3 weeks from now before we can get Chris' remains from Thailand. We will then have a Memorial Service for him, probably in my Dad's ward, and have him buried next to our Mom at Red Bank Cemetery.

1979, age 12
Not sure how old Chris is below,
but these were certainly happier times for him.
He was about this age when he would often come sleep at our house.
My husband was working out of town that year
and I didn't want to be alone with my babies at night.
He would come over about bedtime and sleep on our couch.
He would do it just for me.

A sad day for our family

I wish I could pretend this didn't happen. But it did.

My youngest brother, Christopher, took his own life several hours ago. He was 41 and in Pattaya, Thailand at the time. This is hard on all of us, but especially our father.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I am doing great. Thank you so much for the comments of concern. After my 2 hours of fun at the dentist's office, Dennis drove me home about 3:30. I was still drugged, so I slept off and the rest of the day till bedtime. Then I slept all night, too! I guess I don't take enough drugs because when I do, this is how I react.

About 5pm guess who showed up with flowers. So sweet!!
You would think I had surgery. I didn't.

Campbell, Brock, and Elora
I know you were behind this Erin. Thank you!

Cami has become quite the smiler lately.
Every time this past week when she first sees me, she smiles. I love it!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Peggy Sue!

Why would I begin my blog today with such a pathetic picture? This is 1974...our parents are on in Colorado, on one of their trips he won from Allstate...and my 12 year old sister Peggy, has severe hives. I'm 19 and in charge. I kept putting baking soda paste all over her and then I would cover it all with towels. She was miserable. She remembers this well. When my parents called I told them all was well and they knew nothing about this till later on in their trip. I didn't want to ruin their trip. Not having been a mom yet myself, I didn't realize that parents ALWAYS want to know how their kids are.

The bonding between Peggy and I began years earlier.

Peggy, me, and Robin 1961

In 1962, I was 8 years old and Peggy was just a year old. We use to sometimes catch the city bus on the corner of Cedar and Shaw, and spend several hours together on the Fresno Fulton Mall. You read that right.

My mom would later call the 60s a "gentler time". No doubt it was. But still, I was only 8 years old and Peggy was a baby. I don't remember my Mom ever telling me when I needed to be home. I would just tell her that is what I wanted to do and she would say, "Okay, have a good time!"

I was a small 8 year old. One of my hip bones is still lower than the other, I'm sure from carrying babies back then. (3 more were born after Peggy) How else could I hold them up? My arms looked like pencils in the pictures so I know they were not strong enough alone to carry the extra 20 lbs of a 1 year old.

I once dropped Peggy part way down the escalator at Newberrys. She must have slipped from my grasp. Not sure, but I remember a few gray haired ladies rushing to help us. Nowadays they would have called CPS.

I really did have a good childhood. My mom was just NOT a worrier, and it was a different world back then.

This post is really not about me, it's about my younger sister Peggy. Today is her birthday!!

Peggy has always been there for me. When my 2nd son, Logan, was born in 1979 my Mom could not come to help me like she had with my first baby. Logan was born the day of the Boston Marathon so both my parents were there, and not here. So Peggy volunteered to take Mom's place. She was great.

Peggy and Logan in 1979.
Isn't she beautiful?
She still is.
When my first husband died in 1996 Peggy and my sister Robin made sure we had a nice Thanksgiving dinner 5 days later. They also gave my youngest son Tyler a great 11th birthday, just 3 weeks after his death. They planned the party and did it all.

The day she gave birth to the first boy cousin in the family, besides my 4 sons, I cried. I was so happy my sons would be able to grow up with a male cousin, and they certainly did. Jake, McKay and Tyler were a threesome all the years growing up and are still very close.

Peggy has 6 children and 3 grandchildren. She went back to school a few years back and now teaches school. If I were to describe Peggy in one sentence I would say she has a totally pure heart. She reminds me much of our Mom.

Here are the Kenningtons in 2001, before Carly got married to Enoch and had 3 babies.
Here are the 4 additions to her family since the above picture.
Her son in law Enoch, and her 3 grandbabies.
I hope you have a very wonderful birthday Peggy!!!
I love you very much.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Intriguing Picture

I have spent hours this week trying to organize old pictures. The above was taken in 1981. It's Brock's Sunbeam class, and whoever took this picture, listed all the names on the back. What I found interesting is the boy standing in the back. That is Gabriel Mahan! I either had forgotten his last name, or I never knew it. I have wondered many times what happened to him.

He was about 3-4 years older than Brock. By the way, Brock is seated first row, on the far right. Gabriel use to practically live at our house. All but sleep there. Most mornings when we woke up we would open our front door, and sure enough he would be quietly waiting on the porch. He was such a good kid. I loved having him over because he had such a calming influence on Brock and Logan.

So he would come in and spend the day with us. He was even on our chore chart. He would have his meals with us, do whatever we were doing that day, and then we would send him home about bedtime. He would often come to church with us too, as this picture shows. He was part of our family for a year or two, I think. I really can't remember exactly when he and his Mom and siblings moved from our neighborhood but we never saw them again after they did. I would so love to find him and learn how he is doing, and thank him for all those months (years?) he was a part of our family. He was just so sweet, so kind. He deserved a good future, and I hope that is what he got.

I wonder if Brock remembers him? Logan was probably too young. And McKay and Tyler were not born yet.

Also in this picture, in case any of you recognize the names, are:
front row, l to r: Nathan Boyer, David Anderson, Vanessa Anderson, Brock
back row, l to r: Matthew Bybee, Melissa Clayson, Daniel Presbyla, Ben Fretwell, Scott Sowby

And coincidentally just yesterday in the mail, we received this news from Nathan Boyer (one of the Sunbeams above). He is almost making the same expression here as he did in the picture above.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Why do we love her?

Let me tell you some of the reasons we love our daughter in law so much:

Amy is happily married to my son Logan.

*She is a patient and loving wife and mother. Her children and husband ADORE her.

*She does not take offense easily. One day I was taking a family picture and I told her I needed to take it over because she was looking bored. As soon as that came out of my mouth, I apologized, but she said that it was fine, and told me she is happy we can be honest with each other. And now, whenever I take her picture, she says to me, "Mom, do I look bored?" and we laugh.

*She is kind to EVERYONE. When my mother was dying last year, she would come over and read the Ensign to her.

*She is very forgiving and never holds a grudge. She just blows it off by saying, "Oh, I don't think they meant it that way." or "Maybe they were just having a bad day."

*She has courage and determination. She has endured 2 failed In-vitro attempts but refuses to give up. Amy has faith that she and Logan will eventually have a baby.

Amy camped out on a mattress on our family room floor for 7 whole days after her last In- vitro attempt.

*She is happy and pleasant to be around, even when she is pumped with hormones from the In-vitro attempts. She amazes us.

Rachel, McKay's girlfriend on the left and Amy on the right.
Some people think they look like sisters.

*She is very patient with Logan's sense of humor. In other words, she tolerates it.
And she laughs.

*I love how she makes Logan's lunches everyday for him to take to work.
Amy, Logan and the kids. 2005

*I did not know Amy when her first husband left her alone with 5 little children. I know those were very hard times for her. She does not hold any anger or blame to anyone for what she went through.

*She knows how to have fun. Last December, all 7 of them were staying with us while their house was being remodeled. One evening, a favorite Christmas song of hers came on the radio. I told her to dance to it, and she did! Soon we were all dancing with her. Whenever I hear that song, I will think of her and see her dancing around our family room.

Have a wonderful birthday. We Love You!!!
I know it is July, but here is the song, just for you Amy!
(Ignore the words, remember, it is great to dance to :)
Crank up your speakers. Amy likes it loud.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Fish Funeral

I couldn't resist this one.

Besides, I wanted to do something different for my 100th post.
I love it, except for the part where the parents are not truthful with their daughter about the camera still being on.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Mere Christianity

Last month while I was attending our Relief Society ward book club the woman sitting next to me leaned towards me and asked, "So what brings you here?"

What? Does she think I don't read? Did she say that because the last 2 months I did not get around to reading the book but attended anyway? Or maybe because when I was RS pres I did not attend at all. (our presidency meeting was the same night)

I really enjoy meeting with these women each month but it IS a book club, so I ought to read the book. I love to read, and read often, but I guess I have a tad problem with being told what to read. So I've decided to change things. This month's selection is Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. During last month's club meeting when the title was announced one of the women said, while she was looking at ME, I might add, "You might want to get started on this one right away."

I started on this book a few days ago, and finally after about 100 pages, I am hooked. At first I kept thinking as I was reading it, "So?" It is filled with all the logic I grew up on, nothing really new. From the chapter I read last night on Sexual Morality,
"Chastity is the most unpopular of the Christian virtues."

Yep, that about sums up the world today. And this book was written in the 1940s! Many religions seem to just push that virtue aside, just ignore it I guess. Like it is not part of their Ten Commandments anymore.

Also in this same chapter on Sexual Morality he states, "For any happiness, even in this world, quite a lot of restraint is going to be necessary; so the claim made by every desire, when it is strong, to be healthy and reasonable, counts for nothing. "

Oh, and his chapter on Morality and Psychoanalysis is thought provoking.
For example:
"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. When a man is getting worse he understands his own badness less and less. A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right."

Could this be because at that point he has lost the spirit, and along with this, his conscience? Does this explain why really evil people can just continue to do evil, no matter how much it hurts those around them?

He goes on to say, "...This is common sense really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping. You can see mistakes in arithmetic when your mind is working properly: while you are making them you cannot see them. You can understand the nature of drunkenness when you are sober, not when you are drunk. Good people know about both good and evil: bad people do not know about either."

Any thoughts?

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Cinderella shoes

Last Monday evening after Erin came by to pick up Cami...remember that was the day of Brock's hospital stay...Elora stayed with us till bedtime. It had been a long day and we were all tired so we decided to go out to dinner and of course take Elora with us.

Only one problem. Since Elora came to us at 5am since they were rushing her Dad to the hospital at the time, she had no shoes. No big deal to us, but she was upset about it. She said she could not go out to eat with no shoes! I told her people go barefoot all the time to different places and she would be fine. Still she said no. I said Grandpa could carry her into the restaurant and no one would even be looking at her feet. Still, NO.

I had an idea. I told her the only shoes she had to wear, if she insisted on wearing some, were the little pair of Cinderella shoes in the dress up box. I did not remind her that they were plastic HEELS (she is only 5) and a few sizes too big for her. She shook her head. "No! I can't wear those!" She kept rolling her eyes, shaking her head, and looking at me like I was nuts for even suggesting them.

So then Grandpa Dennis interjected, "Well then, I guess we better take you home since you don't want to go out with us." I thought that was a tad harsh, after all, she DID want to go, but just not with bare feet. Still, he was right, what else could we do?

"No," Elora said, "I don't want to go home yet. I want to go out to dinner with you."
I felt sorry for her. She had been up way early too, and she was tired, and she was hungry, and she DID want to go with us. So then she takes a big deep breath and says reluctantly, "Okay, I'll wear those shoes."

So she puts the Cinderella shoes on and tries to hobble out to the car in them. It was a struggle but she made it.

So we get to the restaurant. Grandpa helps her out of the car and takes her hand. Cling, clang went those heels as she struggles again to walk now on the black asphalt of the parking lot. She looks back at me and says in a hushed determined tone, "This is the most embarrassing night of my life!"

I felt sorry for her but I laughed to myself at the same time. She is 5 years old! How many embarrassing nights could she have had so far?? Truthfully I was in hysterics. It's a good thing I was walking behind her so she couldn't see. I will love sharing this story with her when she is older. Perhaps it will come in handy when something hard comes along and she thinks she can't do it. I will remind her that she can.

Friday, July 4, 2008

She's coming home

Cami is still in Kaweah-Delta Hospital in Visalia but they are sending her home today! I guess she did fine through the night and they are waiting to get today's blood work back.

Brock is impressed with this hospital. He said her room is like a hotel. It has a table and chairs and a fridge in it and a place for the parents to sleep. So Brock and Erin were both able to stay with her all night. AND they were all given breakfast this morning.

Hospitals certainly have changed since the 80s when my 3rd son McKay was a regular guest at Valley Children's. We always stayed with him at night too but were only given a recliner, and ONLY if they had one available. They didn't want parents to stay so they did not accommodate us much at all. They tried to make us feel guilty about it so we would leave. That never worked with us. We were not going to leave our baby. When I would have to go home to shower and sleep at times, my mom or my sister would take my place. And it didn't matter if I was a nursing mom, they had rules about us not eating in his room.

Elora remains in Huntington Beach with Erin's parents. She went down with them on Wednesday. Too bad her mom and dad and sister can't join them there, as planned. But we are just happy they get to be out of the hospital!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Another unexpected hospital visit

Brock and Erin were on their way to Huntington Beach late this afternoon where they had planned on spending this July 4th weekend with Erin's parents. Cami (age 3) had a seizure along the way and is now in a hospital in Visalia. The Dr there is trying to decide whether this is part of her mitochondrial disease or if it is related to the fever she now has. For now, she is going to stay in the hospital overnight. If they determine it is from the mitochondrial they will airlift her to San Francisco.

So consequently Dennis and I are trying to sit tight. Our first thought was to drive to Visalia. But if we do that, Cami may be going to SF, and that is in the opposite direction. Erin's Aunt Mary has arrived there as she does not live far from that hospital. We love Aunt Mary and we are so happy she is with them now. Dennis and I were just saying that everyone needs an Aunt Mary.

When I first heard this news a few hours ago my sister in law Wendy just happened to call. She said she heard Brock was in the hospital and wanted to know how he was doing. I told her that he seems fine but Cami is in the hospital now. Wendy told me that her daughter Robin will look after Cami. I hadn't thought of that. Just as she looks after Hailey. Thank you, Wendy.

I took this picture of Cami 3 days ago.
Of course her sister Elora is under the box.